Eat the Schoolgirl: Osaka Telephone Club (1997)? With a title like that, say no more!

If only Japan was still making classics like this! How I wish. Here is another film I shouldn't like as much as I do but it's my kind of crazy. It's very much what I was hoping for from the first Siren 妖女伝説 セイレーン although that one failed to deliver but Eat the Schoolgirl is brilliant! Sure it's gory and sleazy but it's also artistic. Is she an angel? Or is the main character just really that nuts? This needs a Blu-ray with a 10-hour making of so we can ponder all these sordid details with the creators. I am very curious what inspired this and what the influences were. There is a 45 min interview with the director on the Japanese Blu-ray. Some boutique company needs to pick this one up. Such important cinema has to be preserved. I've actually seen quite a few of the director's other films as well like Erotibot, Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies, Maid-Droid, etc. but this is my favorite so far. We need a box set.

Hellhole (1985) reminds me why I love the '80s.

I always fear the dreaded bait-and-switch with posters but this is another stellar example of one that gives you exactly what it promises. I usually don't like mental asylum movies either but I really enjoyed Hellhole. Nice title too. The '80s just had so many amazing movies and right when I think I've seen all the best ones, I stumble on something like this. The IMDb rating is unfair in my opinion but that's usually true with horror/exploitation. I was glad to see Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) in this and I like the women-in-prison vibe. There is some atmosphere and mystery too, which kept me intrigued. I don't think you should take this movie too seriously, just enjoy the ride. It has all the hallmarks of good '80s horror: nudity, slashing, fun villains, etc. and at just 90 minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome. I wish we could films like this these days instead of boring CGI-stuffed junk. I don't want to watch a 3-hour videogame.

One amazing sequence in Succubus (2024).

I'm talking about the Ron Perlman film, not the Russian film. I did watch both and I was hoping for a lot more but one particular part was so awesome I think I love this movie. If you watch it, you'll know what I mean and then probably hate me for watching it but damn that's what I wanted to see. I wish they didn't go the modern tech route and I wish there was female nudity (it is a succubus movie after all) but that one sequence kinda makes up for everything. I wish the main guy was likeable or there wasn't so many shots of screens but when you finally get the real succubus, it delivers. I love the makeup and FX. I just wish there was a lot more of that in the movie. And they could've done so much more with Ron Perlman. He would have been a better main character or at least more interesting. A "trial separation" husband taking care of a baby at home is an odd choice to go hunting for tail online and find a succubus on a dating site... but again that one sequence blew me away. And hey, it's hard to make a good movie especially writing. I would be curious to see behind the scenes to understand why they chose that direction but that set piece made up for nearly everything in my mind. Yes, I'm an idiot and I've seen far too many succubus movies but none had anything remotely as awesome as that. You can see what I mean below. This scene definitely inspired me. The makeup is like Tim Curry in Legend.

In honor of Rick Melton.

If you've perused some German Mediabooks (sorry I'm a wee bit obsessed with them), you've no doubt seen the spectacular art of Rick Melton. His paintings are so badass and of course, NSFW. I just love his style and every time I see a Mediabook with his art, I just want to buy it even when I know the movie is bad (he makes Rawhead Rex look awesome!). If I could afford him, I would love to have him create something for one of my films but I think his work is the absolute best now. I can't put the best examples below because of the nudity but I recommend searching on eBay and his own site. His style is perfect and I'm a huge fan. His work reminds me of the great Italian artists like Emanuele Taglietti or Alessandro Biffignandi. They did brilliant work for fumetti, which I also love to collect. I'm glad these guys are getting more recognized now because artists like Rick Melton should really be celebrated.

Too Busy Filming

Sorry I got behind on updates since I was finishing the last few pickup days for my new feature. It's another practical FX monster movie, which is quite crazy. Like The Matrix meets Wicked City with some They Live thrown in and The Crow (seems like such an insane cocktail when I write that out but it fits well together surprisingly). Despite the numerous obstacles, I love filming in Tokyo and I can't believe I've now made more features here than in the US. I want to shoot a new movie every year... no idea if I can pull off such a difficult goal but dammit I have to try. I just think now is the time to get busy and make a ton of movies since maybe, just maybe, I could do something amazing... I'm trying anyway. Making practical FX monster movies for no money is stupid but I'm just dumb like that and I love the extreme challenge. The fact that people like the monster in Bakemono also encouraged me way too much so unfortunately for you the audience I've got to do a lot more. My apologies in advance.

Alien 3000 aka Unseen Evil 2 aka cheap monster movie.

If the title didn't give it away, the poster looks like an Alien knockoff and I love those. Honestly though, I admire anyone who tries to make a monster movie for no money because it is really difficult and I just have a soft spot for these films. They probably had a little sliver of a budget but not much I imagine. Actually I'd love to know the real budget and watch BTS on this (sorry I'm going to say that about every movie) because they probably had a lot more than I did but still. I just enjoy watching these. It's so tough to make a film and especially when you have no resources. I love IMDb's trivia for this movie: "Director Jeff Leroy said one day Lorenzo Lamas hid behind a rock when his ex-wife Playboy model Shauna Sand made a surprise appearance on location and demanded his salary." What was his salary I wonder? And this gem: "The director said on one occasion shortly after its release, he invited some friends over to watch the finished product. They fell asleep minutes into the film and so he snuck over to the DVD player and tossed Alien 3000 in the garbage." Holy shit I just realized this director made Werewolf in a Womens Prison, which I absolutely love (I own 2 DVDs of it... a US and a German one). That is awesome. Well, damn now I really want to buy the DVD. Yes, I'm insane but hey it has an exclusive creature interview. I love that shit. Bring on the suit actors. I wish it had a 10 hour making of. Alright, I'll stop ranting like a madman. Thank you Tubi. And thank you Jeff Leroy.

Holy hell: The Necro Files (1997)!

Maybe it was simply the amazing company I watched said film with but this was my kind of crazy and talk about freakin' inventive on a non-existent budget. I was honestly blown away. The story was very engaging and unpredictable so it was never boring in the slightest. I can't state how hard it is to make a good film for no money but this is a perfect example. It's fun, it's out there, and it proves you don't need a ton of cash to make something great. You're always looking for hidden gems like this. I wish the sequel was on the same level (it's a very curious case of why not but the first was just all over the place in the best way). Lightning in a bottle definitely sums up this film and it just seems like you couldn't recapture it if you tried but what do I know. I still appreciate them trying and all the credit in the world for filmmakers who just make it happen, no matter the end result. Watch this. Watch it now.

Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (2014) does the impossible.

Making a monster movie for no money is crazy difficult especially if you want to paint outside the lines of the common staples: zombie, ghost, werewolf, and vampire. But even taking on one of the core four can be daunting. Just think of the masterpieces already done with each and the task could be overwhelming. I would guess werewolf is also the least explored of those four since the FX are the most challenging. This is all my way of saying I love Bubba the Redneck Werewolf because it's an indie with so much heart, great casting, and it's genuinely funny. Malone Thomas is perfect as Bobbie Jo and she really anchors the film. Fred Lass is also excellent as Bubba in werewolf form but the writing is genuinely clever particularly when combined with the resourceful filmmaking. I was surprised I never heard of this before but clearly a lot of great indies fly under the radar without huge marketing budgets. I wish they had made sequels and I rarely, if ever, say that these days.

Hitch-Hike (1977) lives up to the poster.

And what an outstanding poster it is. Unlike many awesome but misleading posters, this scene is in the movie and more. I love Italian crime films from the 70s and Italian horror of course but I'm happy to see people celebrating these. It's always a pleasure to see Franco Nero in something and I was very happy to see David Hess as well although for me, Corinne Clery steals the film. I love the alternate title: The Naked Prey. The score by Ennio Morricone is also phenomenal of course but I was just glued to the screen while watching this. It has some tough scenes to watch and goes deeper than you might think it would with men and women relationships so I love it even more for that. It always feels tense as well and you're not sure how it's all going to turn out. Definitely one to seek out if you haven't seen it. I would blind buy it actually (let's all support physical media if we can).

Trilogy of Lust 2: Portrait of a Sex Killer (1995) shouldn't be one of my favorites but it is.

I just love how insane it is and I feel like it's pushing boundaries. I certainly don't think it's playing things safe by any stretch so I really admire that. Reviews for it seem less than favorable but dammit I love it. The very end is odd and a lot of it is brutal but they were completely fearless in going to some extremely dark places. So much horror feels safe now especially if you gorged yourself on it. Clive Barker said the same thing recently when I saw him speak at Spooky Empire. Thus, I have to say a film like this should be applauded because it's unique and totally out there. The lead actress Julie Lee is also wonderful and so brave to do something like this (she was great in the first part as well). I know there are German releases of this (you rule, Germany) but dang it someone give this a nice English-subtitled Blu-ray with extras please. We don't deserve this but we need it for our dark little souls.

The Antichrist (1974) veers too close to The Exorcist.

But really I still like it. I just wish it went down a less familiar road after the halfway point. I thought the beginning was good though and the way it built up. It has some nudity and some shocking moments, which were well done. Even something I hadn't seen before in a black magic ritual. There may be a good reason why I hadn't seen that before but I still think it's great for horror to push boundaries and try to disturb the audience. Horror can be fun too. Really there is room in horror to do anything... a crazy gory comedy horror ala Evil Dead 2 or a serious punishing character study like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. That's what I love most about horror. It can be anything and even mixed into something totally new, defying genres. I just love it most when horror takes risks and doesn't play it safe. Easier to do with independent films that don't have a lot of money on the line although even then many movies don't do that but I think they should. 

The Burning Moon (1992) ascends to total madness.

You just can't beat practical FX. At least I don't think so. All the masterpieces from the '80s prove this, and Olaf Ittenbach is known for his amazing FX. I'm a huge fan of Premutos: The Fallen Angel so I was eager to see this and it didn't disappoint. Slight spoiler but when a certain guy goes to hell in the finale, it was amazing. I love the way he's torn apart and everything around that. It definitely makes a strong impact and there are great moments earlier in the film too but that sequence blew me away. I wish more films would do something so bonkers and unexpected. Sure the movie isn't flawless but it's truly independent and you can tell there is genuine passion behind it, which I think makes all the difference. Hollywood films are polished but they so often treat the audience like idiots and don't take any chances. Independents can be so much more raw and brutal, making real horror possible.

Deep Shock (2003) haunted me forever.

I swear I saw this poster like a million times before finally seeing the movie. I can't explain it. I knew my expectations were too high since I love the poster and I figured the monster would just be CGI. Unfortunately, I was correct but I don't want to give the film too hard of a time because hey, I would never try an underwater monster movie and if it was practical, I think it would be much better. I like David Keith (love Keith David but beggars can't be choosers) and I just wish the creatures in the film looked more like the great rendering on the poster but I saw this on Tubi so I can't complain (I knew what I was in for too). I still love watching monster movies even ones that leave a bit to be desired. Just look at the tagline: "The end of the world is just an eel's length away." That tells you what you're in for but what can I say? I'm a sucker for a great poster (if only it was a painting but dang it I still really like it... I'm a sucker for deep sea monsters).

Siew Lup (2016) deserves a US release.

I can't believe this film doesn't have a Blu-ray I can buy. I know there is a German release but it doesn't have English subtitles (I'll still buy it but dang it come on). Please some company out there give this a proper release. I love this film and what this filmmaker is doing. It seems like there isn't any horror from Singapore really and even in the world, there isn't much erotic horror especially these days (yes, I love Jess Franco and Jean Rollin but we get almost nothing now). Siew Lup is very well done and I hope it gets some more attention. The poster, just by itself, is completely awesome and captivating. I really want to own a physical copy of this particularly with some bonus features. It reminds me of The Untold Story but a lot more sexy and grounded. Let's not wait until 40 years from now to show this some love like we have with Franco and Rollin. People are always way too harsh on new releases while treasuring past ones that critics trashed back in the day.

Fatal Love (1993) delivers CAT III goodness.

Hong Kong gave the world a glorious gift in the form of its notorious CAT III films but this one especially stood out to me. There are plenty of other amazing titles in this wonderfully nasty den of cinema, which I'm sure are arguably much better (Diary of a Serial Killer comes to mind... so wrong in every way or the infamous Ebola Syndrome of course) yet I have to hold up Fatal Love. It's quite twisted and I didn't see the end coming although I should have but the story pulled me in. Ellen Chan should have gotten an Oscar. Alright, maybe that's a bit much but she did a killer job in this as a cop on the trail of a really sick bastard. There are some fun twists in the story and my enjoyment of the film has nothing to do with the beautiful leading lady. Nope, nothing at all. You believe me right? Hello? I'm talking to myself again, aren't I? It's crazy they got away with making films like these. Crazy awesome.

I'm reminded of one eternal truth: I need to watch more CAT III. If you haven't seen the documentary Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation Cinema, I highly recommend that as well. Naked Killer, Raped By an Angel aka Naked Killer 2, Dr. Lamb, Bloody Beast, Fatal Passion, The Untold Story, Taxi Hunter, The Other Side of Dolls, The Rapist, Trilogy of Lust, The Peeping Tom, etc. What a dark demented rabbit hole. You'll love it.

Malabimba (1979) goes hard on the sleaze.

If you watched The Exorcist and thought to yourself, "Not bad but where's all the nudity and sex?" then don't worry, this Italian "horror" movie was made for you. The full title The Malicious Whore lets you know exactly what you're in for. It's very strange and kind of disturbing (I guess that's the horror part... the Italian meaning of "wicked child" is even more disturbing) but if you've ventured into the dark sewer known as erotic horror, I think you pretty much know what to expect. I didn't realize Satan's Baby Doll (yes, I've seen it... hey, great poster) is basically a remake of this but that makes perfect sense. I prefer the latter... I think. My memory is a bit hazy and so many of these movies kind of run together. Malabimba has a pretty amazing location in an old castle and for being a sexploitation film, it delivers on that front. I was hoping maybe for some more horror but it's pretty light on that. Sure possession and "evil voice" but most of the horror is rather laughable instead of scary.

Thanksgiving (2023) is a blast.

I had such a great time watching this. It's a fantastic blend of comedy and horror. It doesn't take itself too seriously but the threat is very real. Eli Roth knocked it out of the park. He builds the tension very well then turns on a dime to make you laugh. The FX are excellent with some imaginative, gruesome kills. I'm excited for the sequel, and I hope it's even crazier, but I loved the actors in this. The cast was really perfect. No spoilers but they couldn't have picked a better killer. I was so happy, and I couldn't predict who it was at all. The writing was quite clever and I like what it has to say about American society. There was a real point to the carnage (not that there always has to be but it gave the film more meaning). Sure I would've liked the killer's mask to be a bit more creepy or messed up but it makes sense the town wouldn't have scary masks like that for everyone so they struck a good balance plus you see a cooler burned mask later. The tagline is hilarious too and fun in the film.

Love Will Tear Us Apart (2023) and Visitors (2023) are both great new Japanese horror films.

Kenichi Ugana is definitely one to watch. I really loved his new film Love Will Tear Us Apart that is screening at Another Hole in the Head Film Festival. The story is really engaging, and it has some very beautiful cinematography like that last shot. I love the twists and reveals in it too. I think you can truly feel for the main character. Sayu Kubota gives such a fantastic performance as Wakaba. The part where she meets someone new in Tokyo and falls in love is incredible especially what happens from there. The meaning behind it reminds me of my first feature although I think his film is better. Between this and the complete version of Visitors I saw on Screambox, I really can't wait to see what this director does next. The two films are quite different but both are amazing. Visitors reminded me of Evil Dead 2 in the best ways. Funny, gory, and a blast to watch while Love Will Tear Us Apart surprised me on its phenomenal somber tone and emotional depth.

RoboDoc: The Creation of RoboCop (2023) blows away other making-of documentaries.

As a massive fan of RoboCop, I watched this on Screambox and I was astounded at how in-depth it went. It was a dream come true to have this classic explored in such incredible detail. I'm sorry if I sound like a madman ranting but I love behind the scenes and this takes it to a whole new level. I loved their previous documentary on Hellraiser I & II, which is also fantastic, but this feels like they raised the bar. I know they're not the team behind the new Aliens documentary but I really hope that is on par with this. All the anecdotes are just so interesting and real. It really feels like they fully explored every scene. I'm so glad they got Peter Weller to participate but also so many of the crew we've never heard from before. I'm definitely going to pick up the Blu-ray although I think I'll get the UK version just to make sure it has all the bonus features because apparently there was some manufacturing problem with the US one (these poor guys can't catch a break).

Door (1988) is an excellent slice of '80s Japanese cinema.

I'm so glad Third Window Films is finding and restoring fantastic Japanese films like this. The interview with the director is very insightful and interesting too. If you're at all into Japanese cinema, I highly recommend you check out their releases (and get a cheap region-free Blu-ray player off eBay... it's definitely worth it or you'll miss out on so many phenomenal titles and extras). You also get Door 2 as a bonus film with this Blu-ray (it was previously only available on Japanese VHS, having never even gotten a DVD release in Japan before so I'm extremely glad it's included as well). This film does a great job setting up our main character's life and building suspense. They really show a lot of Japanese culture and daily life too with the picky trash rules, nosey neighbors returning trash, talk of the ID number system coming soon, overwork with her husband, their home routine, etc. I especially like how neither character is just good or bad so it's not black and white. It's easy to feel sympathy for the housewife since she is obviously barraged by annoying salesmen plus quite vulnerable when she is home alone (even her husband startles her when coming back) and yet the antagonist tries to be reasonable, at least at first. He stops his sales pitch and just attempts to give her a pamphlet. Then even after she crushes his hand in the door (a bit much on her part but she does feel threatened), he apologizes for losing his temper. Clearly he goes off the deep end after that but seeing how badly hurt his hand is and understanding how that could easily affect his job when he has a quota to fill, you can get a sense of where he's coming from. Maybe he takes it too far too fast but that is more engaging for the viewer and people sometimes snap like that in real life. The psychological games and how crazy it ends up really make this a fun watch along with a clever little twist but I love the way it escalates particularly one chilling moment where the door handle silently starts turning as someone watches (I don't want to spoil it but it's so well done). It's interesting too the director reveals the original script didn't become so violent and this was the first use of Steadicam in Japan. Home invasion Japanese style. Definitely check it out.