Deep Shock (2003) haunted me forever.

I swear I saw this poster like a million times before finally seeing the movie. I can't explain it. I knew my expectations were too high since I love the poster and I figured the monster would just be CGI. Unfortunately, I was correct but I don't want to give the film too hard of a time because hey, I would never try an underwater monster movie and if it was practical, I think it would be much better. I like David Keith (love Keith David but beggars can't be choosers) and I just wish the creatures in the film looked more like the great rendering on the poster but I saw this on Tubi so I can't complain (I knew what I was in for too). I still love watching monster movies even ones that leave a bit to be desired. Just look at the tagline: "The end of the world is just an eel's length away." That tells you what you're in for but what can I say? I'm a sucker for a great poster (if only it was a painting but dang it I still really like it... I'm a sucker for deep sea monsters).

Tokyo Species (2012) is a tad underwhelming.

Love the poster but the film feels very cheap, which I'm sure it was. The CGI especially is not good and the lead actress (AV star Maria Ozawa) gets almost no dialogue so you can't connect with her character much. Cronenberg was very smart with his writing on The Fly remake to be certain Seth Brundle didn't lose his speech until the very last transformation. Clearly, as you can gleam from the title of this Japanese movie, it's an obvious ripoff, erm I mean "clone," of the 1995 sci-fi flick Species. Regardless, I still kinda like it but it's a shame they didn't have more money and give Maria Ozawa more of a chance to actually act. I wish filmmakers would stop using bad CGI. It's a lot easier to forgive bad practical but bad CGI looks so lousy you are instantly thrown out of the movie. I always wonder about films like this. Were they trying to make something great or just something cheap to cash in? But I guess it could depend on who you ask: the producer or the director.

Tokyo Gore Police (2008) reminds me of RoboCop.

I love the satire and black comedy. Plus, fountains of blood win me over every time. Eihi Shiina, the lead actress from Audition, is outstanding of course. If only the film had a higher production quality. It looks way too cheap camera wise but you get loads of cool outrageous FX. Mostly practical. Some more convincing than others. There is some weak CG at times. The story reminds me a bit of eXistenZ and Cronenberg too with its engineer flesh keys. The PSAs about cutting yourself and harakiri are hilarious. It does cross the line of bad taste a few times for me but clearly that was the goal and I admire that it holds nothing back like it was born straight from the mind of a madman. The inventive FX and concept that allows for half-monster half-human hybrids is brilliant. I would definitely watch the promised sequel if it ever happens. It's an excellent concept with all kinds of potential.

Beyond Skyline (2017) was a blast.

I enjoyed this way too much. I'm a huge fan of Frank Grillo ever since The Purge: Anarchy, and he gets a ton to do here plus you get Iko Uwais and Yayan Ruhian from The Raid battling these extraterrestrials with a nice dash of bloody brutality for good measure. What's not to love here? I was shocked this was the same writer as the first film because I really liked the characters a lot this time around. Truth to be told, I didn't hate Skyline. The FX were incredible. Yes, CGI but done at a professional level on a low budget (very low for Hollywood, impossible for indies) so even a practical FX junkie like myself has to admire that. It wasn't boring, heck I rather enjoyed it like if Roger Corman finally got some money (the alien designs looked great), but this sequel blows it out of the water. I was shocked at everything they did in this film and the amount of FX is staggering. Frank Grillo definitely owns this movie and you get some surprising deaths. I love how ruthless the aliens are, ripping out everyone's brains in gory gruesome fashion. That sounds ridiculous writing it but they completely won me over (yeah I'm probably not that hard to win over). Ok, the ending goes off the rails a bit maybe, well definitely, but still I had fun. Not sure I'd be down for another one. This felt like an overdose by the final scene but you have to give the writer/director a lot of credit. He came out swinging and did a hell of a job. Yes, I like Skyline 2. I admit it. It isn't Aliens by any stretch but I had a good time. Everybody has some guilty pleasures. Mine just happen to be a bloody dinosaur movie that rips off Aliens and the Punisher killing some cool-looking E.T.'s.

Review: Shin Godzilla / Godzilla Resurgence (2016)

I just got to see this in Singapore (luckily, English is one of the four official languages here so it had English subtitles), and I was blown away. No spoilers, but I think Godzilla fans will be pleased. I certainly was, and then some. There is rather crude CGI at the beginning when you first see Godzilla's tail and his initial appearance leaves a lot to be desired (neat ideas but bad CGI). Filmmakers should really know by now that if you can't do very good CGI, at least don't show it up close. Keep it at a distance and it'll look a lot better (plus, you could maintain more mystery of what it really looks like). The FX improve drastically as the film progresses though, and you get some really awe-inspiring shots of the King of Monsters particularly when he is wreaking havoc on Tokyo at night while glowing red from his radiation scars.

This Godzilla film doesn't shy away from human casualties like its recent American counterpart. In Gareth Edwards's movie, Godzilla crushes tons of buildings especially in the climatic fight with the MUTOs and you know some people were still inside them but you never see any of that. At the end of the American film, Godzilla strolls back out to sea, but if you think about it, he has to be stomping on some poor bastards on his way out. Shin Godzilla isn't quite as hardcore as the 1954 original when a doctor waves a Geiger counter over a group of children and shakes his head in a haunting display of brutal reality, but it's close. Real close, and I love how Shin Godzilla doesn't gloss over the radiation danger either. Being anywhere near Godzilla would most likely be lethal unless you had a serious radiation suit on (people near him actually wear them in this film and keep them on).

You might have heard Shin Godzilla is basically a metaphor for the recent Fukushima disaster and specifically how poorly handled it was by the authorities. Well, that is abundantly clear in the movie so no spoilers there. Some may knock the dialogue scenes, but they're done very realistically the way you could imagine the government responding to such a crisis, and there is plenty of camera movement with unique angles to keep it speeding along.

What surprised me is how mature this movie is. That probably sounds odd given this is a Godzilla movie and few except the original could warrant such a statement but they really illustrate the complex relationship between the US and Japanese governments. Sure, the Japanese actress playing the US negotiator is a bit tiring at times given how she was supposed to have been born in America to a Japanese grandmother who saw the nuclear bombs we dropped firsthand but the pretty young actress struggles a lot with her English (and her American swagger). It's obvious she isn't a native speaker despite that being what the story calls for although finding a native speaker of both Japanese and English must be difficult (not to mention, she has to be a good actress and the right age as well). No movie is perfect (a reviewer admits this? impossible I know).

Shin Godzilla almost seems like it was made by people outside Japan. Again, maybe a strange sentiment to some but this film isn't afraid to lambaste its own government. Heck, it even criticizes how Japanese interactions are too rigid and formal with hierarchy being too controlling. Characters get pissed because of all the bureaucratic nonsense and how nothing gets done until it's too late. A key plot point is bringing together a group of Japanese who aren't afraid to speak up and challenge authority so they can actually get shit done. The lead guy blatantly tells them to ignore rank and hierarchy. It's refreshing, and the US is criticized too, but you also have agents of the US like the Japanese American girl doing good behind the scenes as well so it's not some silly one-dimensional portrait of our governments. I never expected depth like that in a Godzilla film, and there are times when you think they're just knocking the US, but then they turn it around or show a counterpoint.

You get to see quite a bit of Japanese culture too. Sure, it's all probably extremely obvious to anyone who knows anything about Japan but still it's neat to see those interesting, self-reflective touches in a Godzilla film, and they're not all rosy either. You see how they will work themselves to death (not literally in the movie but in real life, they have a word for death by overworking), fall asleep in their office chairs, bow to authority even if it's clueless and incompetent, etc.

Alright, stop babbling and tell me if it has some good Godzilla action. Yes, absolutely. I won't get specific but Godzilla's atomic breath is fuckin amazing. It makes Legendary's attempt seem quaint and cute in comparison. I should stop giving the American movie such a hard time. I liked it ok (Bryan Cranston should've been in the damn movie more) and it was a colossal improvement over the dreadful, cinematic pain formerly known as Roland Emmerich's 1998 Godzilla abomination. Let's never speak of that travesty again but pretty much anything would look good next to that. Shin Godzilla is far superior in my mind, and it dares to try new things while honoring what came before (like all the best classic Godzilla music in the end credits, which made me so glad to stay to the end, and some in the film too of course).

I just love how dark Shin Godzilla is. They do have a bad misstep with a rock song weirdly inserted at one point but for all its faults (and again, every film has them), this movie delivers. They got so much more right than the few things they missed. The look of the new Godzilla is badass. He's a true monster, but more than that, this is a serious Godzilla film with real weight and consequences. Someone put some real thought behind it, and I'm not that surprised considering how awesome Evangelion is. Hideaki Anno, you rule. I have no clue how they're going to follow this one up. Will there be a direct sequel or semi-reboot? Either way, I'm in. Let's see whether the US or Japanese sequel is better. Dang, we are spoiled now.

Hot Girl of Horror #28: Lauren Cohan

Yes, I love The Walking Dead. Sure, the CG blood sucks. Really sucks. Drains-the-life-force-out-of-you-until-you're-nothing-but-a-withered-shell-of-a-corpse sucks, and I'm sure they have a tight schedule or whatever, but come on. Do it practical or don't do it. Greg Nicotero is even directing episodes, and they still got crappy CGI in there. Alright, end rant. Maggie is hot. That's my deep insightful analysis. She hasn't done any other horror really. Mostly, just TV work (ugh... The Vampire Diaries... kill me). But she is absolutely perfect on The Walking Dead. A phenomenal actress with drop-dead gorgeous looks. See what I did there? Yes, my writing skills are shit. Time for the pictures...

And the reason why animated GIFs were invented:

Evil Dead (2013) was ok but disappointing.

I remember before it came out, the director made a big deal about how there was no CGI in the film. Then he backtracked a little and said they used it to enhance a few things. So when the first scene had some obvious computer-generated fire (or computer "enhanced" to the point where it looks fake), I was pissed. There are some great practical FX in the movie, but they shouldn't have said there was no CGI especially when it's in the fuckin opening. I don't understand the appeal of remakes unless they really do something completely different. John Carpenter's The Thing shares very little in common with The Thing from Another World. The characters are totally unique, the themes, the approach to the monster, the visual style, the amazing score, the opening with the dog, etc. Same with David Cronenberg's The Fly and the 1958 film with Vincent Price. The beginning of Evil Dead is essentially what you saw before with one of the most memorable characters of all time missing of course. Does Mia stand up at all to Ash? Not even close. You can see they're trying to be unique, but they don't do nearly enough. That short little scene at the start doesn't really add anything aside from CG fire. It was obvious before the cabin had a history, and you can't trust someone who is possessed. They also undermine their efforts sometimes by too clearly foreshadowing with the images in the Necronomicon. Spoiler: I was disappointed when the book hinted Olivia would cut off her entire face, you see her working on that in the bathroom from behind (a cool shot), but then all she did was cut into her cheek. End spoiler. There are a lot of little great touches though. The staples in the flesh of the Book of the Dead, when Mia first whispers David's name after the tree rape scene, the way Mia glides at David in the basement (reminds me of the scary old woman in the original House on Haunted Hill), etc.

Nice fake out from the trailer. This scene isn't in the movie.

The ending disappointed me so much. Spoilers from here on. I loved the blood rain and the thing coming out of the ground (an image teased by the posters for Sam Raimi's classic), but then that monster is basically just another demon girl like we've already seen. Heck, they could've had it start as a girl then mutate into some truly hellish creature. And what the hell is up with Mia tearing off her own hand? That was so pointless and stupid. She screams when she rips it off, but then she acts like it doesn't even hurt. The pain would be unbearable, and she would bleed to death unless she took care of the wound quickly, but all she does is casually tuck her still-bleeding-and-should-be-horribly-painful-with-the-bone-sticking-out stump under her other arm. What the fuck? She isn't even going to wrap the wound? When the blonde girl earlier cut off her own arm, at least they covered it in duck tape and tried to deal with it realistically. At the end, they don't even give a fuck. Mia just stands there for the longest time, acting like it's a little scratch. You lost your fuckin hand because it got crushed under a jeep and you tore the rest off! I can't believe they had her act like it was nothing. Yes, I love Bruce's cameo although people made such a big deal about it tying everything together, I was expecting more, but it's always great to see him especially reprising Ash and saying his famous line.

By the way, what's up with the dog? I didn't even realize there was one until David found it dead. They really didn't set that up well at all.

Anyway, the movie wasn't awful. At least, they didn't make it PG-13 with CG blood or something atrocious like that, but it still could've been a lot better. And please quit trying to do CG fire.