Hellhole (1985) reminds me why I love the '80s.

I always fear the dreaded bait-and-switch with posters but this is another stellar example of one that gives you exactly what it promises. I usually don't like mental asylum movies either but I really enjoyed Hellhole. Nice title too. The '80s just had so many amazing movies and right when I think I've seen all the best ones, I stumble on something like this. The IMDb rating is unfair in my opinion but that's usually true with horror/exploitation. I was glad to see Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) in this and I like the women-in-prison vibe. There is some atmosphere and mystery too, which kept me intrigued. I don't think you should take this movie too seriously, just enjoy the ride. It has all the hallmarks of good '80s horror: nudity, slashing, fun villains, etc. and at just 90 minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome. I wish we could films like this these days instead of boring CGI-stuffed junk. I don't want to watch a 3-hour videogame.

Door (1988) is an excellent slice of '80s Japanese cinema.

I'm so glad Third Window Films is finding and restoring fantastic Japanese films like this. The interview with the director is very insightful and interesting too. If you're at all into Japanese cinema, I highly recommend you check out their releases (and get a cheap region-free Blu-ray player off eBay... it's definitely worth it or you'll miss out on so many phenomenal titles and extras). You also get Door 2 as a bonus film with this Blu-ray (it was previously only available on Japanese VHS, having never even gotten a DVD release in Japan before so I'm extremely glad it's included as well). This film does a great job setting up our main character's life and building suspense. They really show a lot of Japanese culture and daily life too with the picky trash rules, nosey neighbors returning trash, talk of the ID number system coming soon, overwork with her husband, their home routine, etc. I especially like how neither character is just good or bad so it's not black and white. It's easy to feel sympathy for the housewife since she is obviously barraged by annoying salesmen plus quite vulnerable when she is home alone (even her husband startles her when coming back) and yet the antagonist tries to be reasonable, at least at first. He stops his sales pitch and just attempts to give her a pamphlet. Then even after she crushes his hand in the door (a bit much on her part but she does feel threatened), he apologizes for losing his temper. Clearly he goes off the deep end after that but seeing how badly hurt his hand is and understanding how that could easily affect his job when he has a quota to fill, you can get a sense of where he's coming from. Maybe he takes it too far too fast but that is more engaging for the viewer and people sometimes snap like that in real life. The psychological games and how crazy it ends up really make this a fun watch along with a clever little twist but I love the way it escalates particularly one chilling moment where the door handle silently starts turning as someone watches (I don't want to spoil it but it's so well done). It's interesting too the director reveals the original script didn't become so violent and this was the first use of Steadicam in Japan. Home invasion Japanese style. Definitely check it out.

Delirium (1987) is quite an unusual giallo.

I love it especially the iconic eye-face effect but the lead actress really steals the show and the cinematography is outstanding too with some great use of shadow (and color of course). Having watched a fair amount of giallo now, this one certainly stands out with the killer's unique bizarre visions of his victims. There are some nice twists and turns too that keep you guessing about the murderer's identity. I'm so happy my friend Jason recommended this to me. Thank you! This is absolutely an awesome film and I just had to get the rare Code Red Blu-ray with the perfect cover. If you're curious to see more Italian horror, this and Torso are my favorites besides Argento's classics of course. Fulci's Don't Torture a Duckling is up there too. It's really an amazing time to be a movie lover. I just hope people keep supporting physical media because so often rarer titles are not on streaming sites (neither are all the awesome extras and I just love behind the scenes docs).

The Last Broadcast (1998) reels you in.

You can obviously see how this is a predecessor to The Blair Witch Project, which really makes it very interesting to watch. There are a number of things the two films have in common like investigating a local legend (in this case, the Jersey Devil), the fake documentary approach, the question of supernatural or not, the use of mystery, making your no budget work for you rather than against you, etc. Heck, they both even have two directors. The Blair Witch Project feels more polished and convincing to me (the way they use 16mm film and a Hi8 camcorder helps I think) but I also like this film. It's true the ending doesn't quite deliver (I was surprised though) and sometimes it feels repetitive or stretched out; however, I still really enjoyed this film. The acting feels more real in The Blair Witch Project and their ending is better but both films have merit.

Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996) is ridiculous fun.

I don't know how anyone could ever take this movie seriously. First of all, it's the Leprechaun series. I don't think it's possible for it to jump the shark. Go nuts. Do the craziest thing you can think of. Why not? Let's just have a blast. Leprechaun 3 was surprisingly pretty good so I was glad to see the same director back for another sequel but I was worried by the low IMDb rating. How very stupid of me. You should always see stuff yourself. You can tell watching this film that the director and writer are big fans of Aliens. You kind of get your Queen Alien, you got your low-rent space marines, etc. I thought it was very entertaining for what it is. A super sized Leprechaun? An alien space lady who just looks like a hot human girl with more makeup? Sure, go for it. Complaining about this would be like complaining about McDonald's. You should know what you're getting. It's obvious just by the title. I hope Darren Lynn Bousman gets to make his sequel, and I hope it's insane.

I couldn't get enough of Grizzly (1976).

Yes, it's clearly aping Jaws but I enjoyed this film so much. I already want to watch it again, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the charming characters and actors or the brutal violence but this was so entertaining. You really can't predict who will die next, and that is a huge part of it I think. The relationships also feel quite real. Some characters you're certain will make it end up in the meat grinder that they call a bear. Of course, I don't think it's realistic at all but it doesn't matter. Bears can be extremely dangerous and cause some gruesome deaths (you definitely don't want to run into one in real life) but this thing seems like a furry Terminator. Just look at that tagline on the poster: "18 feet of gut-crunching, man-eating terror!" That is brilliant and boy howdy does it deliver. I know one thing for certain: if I read that tagline, I'd have to see this movie but usually you'd end up regretting that decision. Well, not in this case.

Tomie: Unlimited (2011) is an improvement.

I liked this better than the first film in the series but the digital cinematography is a little underwhelming. I really like how they tried to do more of the Cronenbergesque body horror from the manga but the FX aren't quite there. They're close but I really wish Noboru Iguchi could have gotten a bigger budget, a better camera, etc. I'm still not sure about the actress they chose for Tomie. I know that must be the most difficult role to cast though (even Junji Ito himself picking the actress for the first Tomie movie had a questionable result). But sometimes you see a girl in Tokyo that is simply breathtaking. If only they could cast someone like that but maybe those girls can't act or don't want to act. But I hope they keep trying. Tomie really deserves an awesome big budget film. It just needs someone that truly gets the material and can pull it off then they need the necessary budget to achieve that. Easier said than done and I worry the financers have lost faith.

Update: having now watched many more Tomie movies, I realize the error of my ways. Most of the films are pretty boring sadly but Iguchi's adaptation is probably the best. If only they would've given him more time and money but still it's amazing for the few resources he had. I think a major problem for these films is if you've read the manga, you know where the story is going so it's hard for the filmmakers to surprise the fans and keep it entertaining. You really never want the audience to be ahead of your film but staying unpredictable while still following the source material is very difficult and casting Tomie is so tough.

Wicked City (1992) proves to be incredibly strange and oddly entertaining.

I really love the 1987 anime this is based on so I should rightfully hate this live-action version because it pretty much takes the great story of the original and repeatedly runs it over with a freight truck until only a gory mess remains then it sets that on fire until dancing on it with neon tentacles. Yeah, I think that's an accurate summary of how this treats the source material. But... this film is so crazy weird and kinda similar to the anime like a long lost mutated cousin that I rather enjoyed it. I had no idea what it was going to do next. The opening scene is pretty much straight out of the anime minus the nudity (come on guys) then it goes haywire with a demon drug, kung fu, wire fu, non-demon cops that still have powers, a psychic-projected plane (I think?), the aforementioned neon tentacles, etc. It's really all over the place and the English synopsis said something about "Rapters" but in the subtitled version I saw, they never mentioned "Rapters" once so I'm thinking someone took some liberties with the dubbing or someone got confused on the packaging. Confusing is a good word to describe this movie although you can pretty much follow it but why they threw all this extra stuff in a blender with the already-fantastic anime is a good question. Maybe the filmmakers were trying to put their own stamp on it and it is certainly unique so I guess they achieved that but it's very odd. I do like the inventive FX with some of the demons. Unfortunately, I wonder if any great live-action adaptation of an anime can really be done because they all seem to turn out inferior to the source. I did really enjoy Parasyte: Part 1 and Part 2. Those actually had pretty good CGI too, which surprised me even more but even with those, they're certainly not better than the anime. They're just a good adaptation, which is maybe all we can hope for. I guess the same argument can be made for books vs. films but sometimes, I think, films have surpassed the books. Or I have no clue what I'm talking about and there is some 5,000 lb levitating purple blowfish here with a bazooka and nunchucks forcing me to write this. It's definitely the latter, and that about sums up this movie.

One Cut of the Dead (2017) deserves the acclaim.

Some possible spoilers so watch it first before reading and try to watch it without knowing anything about it. It's easy to see why this film got so much attention. The passion and love for movies is evident in every frame. Plus, it doesn't take itself too seriously, but they literally show you how difficult it is to make what you take for granted at the beginning. You can see all their trials and tribulations, trying to create that one long take. Usually, you watch an indie and you have no clue how tough it was to get that footage onscreen. It's clever too the way it switches format (even genre) and still works. In fact, it works even better, adding another layer to what you already saw. It's really genius when it comes down to it. They thought this through big time and did their homework. This film has blown up as much as The Blair Witch Project, and I think it clearly earns that status so hats off to these guys. Definitely seek it out if you haven't yet. You won't regret it.

Mandy (2018) is quite wicked.

The lighting and atmosphere is fantastic. How could you not love those demonic bikers? Like some fucked up cenobites on wheels. "The Reaper is coming." Gotta love that. Nicholas Cage is a lot of fun in this. I especially love the fate of the big baddie at the end. So well done. I burst out laughing because I loved it so much. It was over the top and perfect. Some really great gore FX all around. Glad to see practical. Lighting is so critical to horror but too often it's overlooked. It can make or break everything. I heard about the Cheddar Goblin before. It's easy to see why that stole the spotlight. It's hilarious. The dark humor is pitch black but it's great. My sense of humor exactly. If anything, I wish there were more monsters, and I don't think you need the bad LSD explanation but probably some viewers will want that. You could've gone even more weird and I would've happily gone along. The style of the filmmaking is so engrossing. It really makes this movie unique and a joy to watch.

So I finally saw Oculus (2013) and...

I loved it especially that ending. I didn't think they'd go there, but they did. Damn. Takes guts to leave your audience like that. This is by far the best haunted object movie I've seen (I'm not counting Hellraiser or Evil Dead since those are more gateways to evil that don't focus on a *haunted* object whereas this is clearly about a *haunted* mirror... eh it's splitting hairs I guess but did ya see dem rabbits outside? big as trees I tell ya! they need splitting... with battle axes... ok maybe I'm a bit nuts). So yeah, the director refused to make this a found-footage movie even though that would've allowed him to finance it much earlier. You have to admire that. That is awesome, and this film is all the more amazing because of it. The writing and the way it jumps between timelines is brilliant. By the end, you realize how cunning the force in the mirror is and how many lives it has taken... it really is genius how everything unfolds. I saw Absentia before and liked it but this is just incredible.

Never heard of Intruders (2015) but it is so astonishingly good I can't believe it.

Alright full disclosure: I got this confused with that Clive Owen Intruders movie (by the director of 28 Weeks Later released in 2011). In other words, I'm an idiot, but damn, this newer 2015 film was fantastic. I only read a really brief synopsis before watching it so I was shocked at what unfolded. I can't believe some people didn't like it. It only has a 5.7 rating on IMDb but I would easily put it at a 7 or 8. That said, don't read any spoilers or watch a trailer. Just like most movies, it's best to go in with a blank state (they give way too much away these days). One thing is for sure: you have to admire the actress. Her range is incredible, and the storytelling was perfectly executed. You get sympathetic characters that hook you from the start and a compelling beginning that turns everything on its head. This reminded me of Don't Breathe, which was another single-location thriller I really liked. I'm still curious though if that Clive Owen flick is worth watching.

Cure (1997) is brilliant.

If you never heard of this Japanese horror movie, you should check it out right away. It reminds me of Seven although Angel Dust is a more apt comparison but I saw the latter afterwards. The acting and cinematography is fantastic. You'll see imagery that won't make sense until later but I think it all clearly adds up in the end. Some might take issue with the plausibility of some aspects. Pay close attention though. The film gave plenty of justification to how this could be possible so I don't have any problem buying into it. I love these kinds of detective stories particularly when they are unaware of the real threat. It makes you want to scream at the screen but of course, our lead would have no idea the trap he is so carelessly walking into, which to me, is partly what makes it so effective. We would all stumble into that same dark jail cell without realizing what had happened until it was too late. Here comes some spoilers so stop reading if you haven't seen it yet. I thought a lot about Fallen after this but Cure is so much more clever and subtle in its mesmerizing execution. They're very similar but one is like a lunatic barking at cars in the street while the other lurks in the shadows, waiting for you to draw near. In film, the execution is everything. You could have the best script in the world, the best story, the best idea, but if your actors suck or the cinematography is terrible, if the music doesn't fit or the sound is wretched, it's all for nothing. You need that good script too though. That's why film is so challenging. All the pieces really have to come together, and I think that's clearly the case with Cure.

Review: Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998)

Prepare for a lot of cameos in this one: Kane Hodder (Jason! Hell yes!), Fred Williamson (From Dusk Till Dawn!), and David Carradine. Plus, Eva Mendes in one of her first film roles. I think it's obvious this sequel was made by a horror fan but it didn't do much for me unfortunately. It has that same generic setup of some college kids who take a wrong turn and end up in Slasherland. The main evil child isn't believable at all. You hate him immediately (and not in a good way). The cameos are nice and do help it a bit but it's pretty dull. There is a grain silo with flames coming out of it, which I guess is their version of the corn monster, but it's disappointing. Typical cult thing except Carradine's character is used as their puppet spokesperson. These Children of the Corn sequels are pretty forgettable. It's just crazy they made so many of them, and I have to be nuts for watching them. We really need another Friday the 13th. Just have fun with it and don't take it so seriously.

Review: The Unnamable Returns (1992)

HP Lovecraft films are pretty rare (thank you Stuart Gordon!) much less a sequel to an HP Lovecraft movie but that's what we got here and the real kicker: I think it's better than the original. I know... the horde is coming to get me as I write such unbelievable blasphemy, but alas, it is true. I didn't even want to watch this but I was so shocked to discover there was a part two to The Unnamable that I couldn't help myself. It's like finding out there are five Silent Night, Deadly Night movies... what?!?! How could they possibly make so many? Never mind that, it's crazy sequel time! The Unnamable II picks up right where the first film ended, and immediately, I would say it is far more interesting with better characters, writing, directing, etc. Sallah from Indiana Jones is even in it! You get a lot more of the monster too and more kills, bloodshed, etc. It's more entertaining than the original, which I barely remember except for the end, and the story is extremely different. I was genuinely surprised and a bit saddened by the conclusion of part two whereas the first film didn't even register.

I still love Them (1954).

There are so many reasons to watch old, black-and-white classics. You get a peek into another time period, and as much as I like reading a good book, you get something so much more tangible with a film where you can literally see all the details (and even hear them). I'm sure a lot of this is romanticizing the past, but everything just seemed simpler back then. At least as far as movies go, they weren't afraid to give you a message, and I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a million times better than Transformers: Rise of the Convoluted Crap. Heck, Terminator 2 has a clear message stated outright at the end too, and it's a masterpiece. I have a special place in my heart for "old" films (the worst thing is when kids now think the '80s are old). I remember watching Them as a kid, and I was desperate to revisit it. I wasn't disappointed.

Sure, the giant ants are a little hokey at times, but I think they did an amazing job with them considering the limitations. Plus, the way they build up to that first reveal and use the sound of them is brilliant. I'm fond of all the characters too. People then seemed to have more manners and hold themselves to a higher standard although I know there were plenty of hideous problems then as well (the red scare for example, widespread smoking, less civil rights, etc.), but I always find it easy to like the actors in these films. You don't get a ton of moral complexity. Sometimes, it's nice to have obvious good guys and bad guys.

This film is still pretty harsh on occasion too. A good guy trying to rescue some kids get brutally slain by an ant. You also get the hallmark of every good movie: flamethrowers. Seriously, what more do you need?

Review: The Hidden (1987)

This one was pretty disappointing. I saw the poster as a kid but never got around to watching it. Someone online mentioned it had some pretty good practical FX so I wanted to give it a shot. The premise also sounded promising and I'm a huge fan of '80s horror movies (who isn't?) so I tracked down the DVD. The opening scene is pretty good, and it has a lot more humor than I expected, but there are barely any alien FX despite there being plenty of opportunities (the creature takes over a dog!). Oh well, "grandpa" carrying a big boom box on his shoulder and beating the record store guy to death was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh (awww the '80s! the alien loves music haha get it? ugh). Michael Nouri does do a good job acting, but Kyle MacLachlan was a bit too silly at times. I wish the creature design was better too. It just looks like a bloated worm or something. The dog admiring itself in the mirror was hilarious.

The Raid 2 and Under the Skin are tied for my favorites of the year. What an amazing year.

I can't really pick between them, and they're so insanely different yet both are masterpieces in my opinion. I loved The Raid, but I think I could watch the sequel a million times more. Gareth Evans knows exactly what he's doing, and he's fuckin kicking ass. Sequels are so often pale imitations of the original, just trying to cash in on the brand name especially these days, but The Raid 2 says fuck you to pathetic sequel conventions and blazes its own blood-stained path, enlarging the world of the first film a thousand fold. You get Japanese Yakuza, rival Indonesian gangs, corrupt cops, badass assassins (Hammer Girl and Baseball Bat Man... hell yeah!), etc. The action is still there but on a much grander scale, and it's unbelievable. I think it easily lives up to the hype and crushes its skull in. My favorite moment (spoiler alert): Rama beats the crap out of a guy in self-defense, brutally burns his face, and then at the last second, we see that man was a cop too (end spoiler). This film doesn't pull its punches, and it never felt long either. I don't think I can say one negative about it.

Under the Skin is, of course, another creature entirely, but damn, it's good. It actually reminded me of Kubrick's The Shining because of the haunting atmosphere it sustains and the eerie way it uses sound and music. You really don't know what you're in for with this movie. I expected it to be a little slow, and maybe some might claim that, but I didn't think it was at all. I mean it was never boring to me. (spoiler alert!) I absolutely love the mature way it handles a disfigured man (end spoiler). It's really a crazy brilliant movie, and I think it will stick with you long after you see it so definitely seek it out.

Honorable Mentions: Nightcrawler and Starry Eyes

Slasher Movies: Dead or Alive?

I'll admit it: I'm not the biggest fan of the slasher sub-genre. There are some classics, of course, that I love like Psycho II (yes, I actually prefer the sequel over the original... I'm in a weird minority on that one), Halloween II (same thing... I can't deny Carpenter's original, but I love the ending to this one, I love the beginning, "You don't know what death is!" I love the mask and Loomis, etc.), Friday the 13th Part VI, Scream, but almost all the new ones fall flat for me. It doesn't help that no-budget filmmakers tend to do a slasher with the same old tired formula of teens getting picked off one by one. If it doesn't try to do something new, I just get bored. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is actually phenomenal in my opinion, and I absolutely love the concept behind Maurice Devereaux's Slashers. It has to be one of the most original, exciting ideas for a slasher film in decades. I'm sure the sub-genre isn't really going anywhere. I just wish more filmmakers would take risks with it and try something entirely new like Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. That was another excellent one, and if you count The Cabin in the Woods as a slasher, I'd include it as well. I don't think it's really that difficult to change it up. For example, I found a new Kickstarter project called The Orange Man that does something I love: your typical teenagers are replaced with middle-aged men. I'm not a huge fan of comedy hybrids, but I think that is a brilliant idea for a slasher. I'm sick to death of seeing teenagers. Maybe I'm just turning into a bitter old man, but teenagers are freakin annoying unless the characters are done extremely well, and most of the time, they're not.

It's funny I started writing this thinking I hated slashers, but actually, all those films above I love so my problem is with the bad, half-assed ones. I tend to agree more and more with my friend Jason about wanting to see the monster get killed. I hate slashers where the victims don't fight back, and it happens so often. It drives me nuts or the damn protagonist trips and falls. Stop doing that! Yes, it might actually happen in real life, but it has been overused so much in slashers that it's unbearable if you've seen any. Probably like most horror fans, I'm dying to see something different, and actually, I want to see more monster movies with practical FX. Those are quite a bit more tough to do than slashers though, which is why we don't have many, but I'd love to see another new, good slasher movie. I'm just a bit tired of being burned by the crappy ones.

Possession (1981) is all kinds of crazy.

I had no idea what to expect when I watched this. The synopsis definitely doesn't prepare you for the madness that follows. Sam Neill is fantastic as always. I hadn't seen him in a role quite like this. Isabelle Adjani is extremely beautiful and mesmerizing. She has some truly insane and bizarre scenes too. The film has really stuck with me even though I'm not sure I like it (I think in a way though, you're not supposed to like it), but I would easily see it again. The story about the writer/director going through a divorce at the time explains a lot, because there's obviously an enormous amount of emotion behind it along with many mixed feelings that manifest themselves in the characters. It's almost utter chaos although the beginning is easy enough to understand, but then it pulls the rug out from under you and doesn't let up until the strange ending, which while it's weird, seems to make perfect sense on some level. It's very different, and if you haven't seen it, get ready to be shocked. The movie leaves a lot open to interpretation, which is what keeps it in your thoughts (that and the dark gruesome imagery). I love the practical effects, and I did not see them coming. I think it pretty much sums up divorce, and the hell or heaven (mostly hell here) of relationships.