The Antichrist (1974) veers too close to The Exorcist.

But really I still like it. I just wish it went down a less familiar road after the halfway point. I thought the beginning was good though and the way it built up. It has some nudity and some shocking moments, which were well done. Even something I hadn't seen before in a black magic ritual. There may be a good reason why I hadn't seen that before but I still think it's great for horror to push boundaries and try to disturb the audience. Horror can be fun too. Really there is room in horror to do anything... a crazy gory comedy horror ala Evil Dead 2 or a serious punishing character study like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. That's what I love most about horror. It can be anything and even mixed into something totally new, defying genres. I just love it most when horror takes risks and doesn't play it safe. Easier to do with independent films that don't have a lot of money on the line although even then many movies don't do that but I think they should. 

The Burning Moon (1992) ascends to total madness.

You just can't beat practical FX. At least I don't think so. All the masterpieces from the '80s prove this, and Olaf Ittenbach is known for his amazing FX. I'm a huge fan of Premutos: The Fallen Angel so I was eager to see this and it didn't disappoint. Slight spoiler but when a certain guy goes to hell in the finale, it was amazing. I love the way he's torn apart and everything around that. It definitely makes a strong impact and there are great moments earlier in the film too but that sequence blew me away. I wish more films would do something so bonkers and unexpected. Sure the movie isn't flawless but it's truly independent and you can tell there is genuine passion behind it, which I think makes all the difference. Hollywood films are polished but they so often treat the audience like idiots and don't take any chances. Independents can be so much more raw and brutal, making real horror possible.

Fatal Love (1993) delivers CAT III goodness.

Hong Kong gave the world a glorious gift in the form of its notorious CAT III films but this one especially stood out to me. There are plenty of other amazing titles in this wonderfully nasty den of cinema, which I'm sure are arguably much better (Diary of a Serial Killer comes to mind... so wrong in every way or the infamous Ebola Syndrome of course) yet I have to hold up Fatal Love. It's quite twisted and I didn't see the end coming although I should have but the story pulled me in. Ellen Chan should have gotten an Oscar. Alright, maybe that's a bit much but she did a killer job in this as a cop on the trail of a really sick bastard. There are some fun twists in the story and my enjoyment of the film has nothing to do with the beautiful leading lady. Nope, nothing at all. You believe me right? Hello? I'm talking to myself again, aren't I? It's crazy they got away with making films like these. Crazy awesome.

I'm reminded of one eternal truth: I need to watch more CAT III. If you haven't seen the documentary Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation Cinema, I highly recommend that as well. Naked Killer, Raped By an Angel aka Naked Killer 2, Dr. Lamb, Bloody Beast, Fatal Passion, The Untold Story, Taxi Hunter, The Other Side of Dolls, The Rapist, Trilogy of Lust, The Peeping Tom, etc. What a dark demented rabbit hole. You'll love it.

Malabimba (1979) goes hard on the sleaze.

If you watched The Exorcist and thought to yourself, "Not bad but where's all the nudity and sex?" then don't worry, this Italian "horror" movie was made for you. The full title The Malicious Whore lets you know exactly what you're in for. It's very strange and kind of disturbing (I guess that's the horror part... the Italian meaning of "wicked child" is even more disturbing) but if you've ventured into the dark sewer known as erotic horror, I think you pretty much know what to expect. I didn't realize Satan's Baby Doll (yes, I've seen it... hey, great poster) is basically a remake of this but that makes perfect sense. I prefer the latter... I think. My memory is a bit hazy and so many of these movies kind of run together. Malabimba has a pretty amazing location in an old castle and for being a sexploitation film, it delivers on that front. I was hoping maybe for some more horror but it's pretty light on that. Sure possession and "evil voice" but most of the horror is rather laughable instead of scary.

Thanksgiving (2023) is a blast.

I had such a great time watching this. It's a fantastic blend of comedy and horror. It doesn't take itself too seriously but the threat is very real. Eli Roth knocked it out of the park. He builds the tension very well then turns on a dime to make you laugh. The FX are excellent with some imaginative, gruesome kills. I'm excited for the sequel, and I hope it's even crazier, but I loved the actors in this. The cast was really perfect. No spoilers but they couldn't have picked a better killer. I was so happy, and I couldn't predict who it was at all. The writing was quite clever and I like what it has to say about American society. There was a real point to the carnage (not that there always has to be but it gave the film more meaning). Sure I would've liked the killer's mask to be a bit more creepy or messed up but it makes sense the town wouldn't have scary masks like that for everyone so they struck a good balance plus you see a cooler burned mask later. The tagline is hilarious too and fun in the film.

Love Will Tear Us Apart (2023) and Visitors (2023) are both great new Japanese horror films.

Kenichi Ugana is definitely one to watch. I really loved his new film Love Will Tear Us Apart that is screening at Another Hole in the Head Film Festival. The story is really engaging, and it has some very beautiful cinematography like that last shot. I love the twists and reveals in it too. I think you can truly feel for the main character. Sayu Kubota gives such a fantastic performance as Wakaba. The part where she meets someone new in Tokyo and falls in love is incredible especially what happens from there. The meaning behind it reminds me of my first feature although I think his film is better. Between this and the complete version of Visitors I saw on Screambox, I really can't wait to see what this director does next. The two films are quite different but both are amazing. Visitors reminded me of Evil Dead 2 in the best ways. Funny, gory, and a blast to watch while Love Will Tear Us Apart surprised me on its phenomenal somber tone and emotional depth.

RoboDoc: The Creation of RoboCop (2023) blows away other making-of documentaries.

As a massive fan of RoboCop, I watched this on Screambox and I was astounded at how in-depth it went. It was a dream come true to have this classic explored in such incredible detail. I'm sorry if I sound like a madman ranting but I love behind the scenes and this takes it to a whole new level. I loved their previous documentary on Hellraiser I & II, which is also fantastic, but this feels like they raised the bar. I know they're not the team behind the new Aliens documentary but I really hope that is on par with this. All the anecdotes are just so interesting and real. It really feels like they fully explored every scene. I'm so glad they got Peter Weller to participate but also so many of the crew we've never heard from before. I'm definitely going to pick up the Blu-ray although I think I'll get the UK version just to make sure it has all the bonus features because apparently there was some manufacturing problem with the US one (these poor guys can't catch a break).

Door (1988) is an excellent slice of '80s Japanese cinema.

I'm so glad Third Window Films is finding and restoring fantastic Japanese films like this. The interview with the director is very insightful and interesting too. If you're at all into Japanese cinema, I highly recommend you check out their releases (and get a cheap region-free Blu-ray player off eBay... it's definitely worth it or you'll miss out on so many phenomenal titles and extras). You also get Door 2 as a bonus film with this Blu-ray (it was previously only available on Japanese VHS, having never even gotten a DVD release in Japan before so I'm extremely glad it's included as well). This film does a great job setting up our main character's life and building suspense. They really show a lot of Japanese culture and daily life too with the picky trash rules, nosey neighbors returning trash, talk of the ID number system coming soon, overwork with her husband, their home routine, etc. I especially like how neither character is just good or bad so it's not black and white. It's easy to feel sympathy for the housewife since she is obviously barraged by annoying salesmen plus quite vulnerable when she is home alone (even her husband startles her when coming back) and yet the antagonist tries to be reasonable, at least at first. He stops his sales pitch and just attempts to give her a pamphlet. Then even after she crushes his hand in the door (a bit much on her part but she does feel threatened), he apologizes for losing his temper. Clearly he goes off the deep end after that but seeing how badly hurt his hand is and understanding how that could easily affect his job when he has a quota to fill, you can get a sense of where he's coming from. Maybe he takes it too far too fast but that is more engaging for the viewer and people sometimes snap like that in real life. The psychological games and how crazy it ends up really make this a fun watch along with a clever little twist but I love the way it escalates particularly one chilling moment where the door handle silently starts turning as someone watches (I don't want to spoil it but it's so well done). It's interesting too the director reveals the original script didn't become so violent and this was the first use of Steadicam in Japan. Home invasion Japanese style. Definitely check it out.

Delirium (1987) is quite an unusual giallo.

I love it especially the iconic eye-face effect but the lead actress really steals the show and the cinematography is outstanding too with some great use of shadow (and color of course). Having watched a fair amount of giallo now, this one certainly stands out with the killer's unique bizarre visions of his victims. There are some nice twists and turns too that keep you guessing about the murderer's identity. I'm so happy my friend Jason recommended this to me. Thank you! This is absolutely an awesome film and I just had to get the rare Code Red Blu-ray with the perfect cover. If you're curious to see more Italian horror, this and Torso are my favorites besides Argento's classics of course. Fulci's Don't Torture a Duckling is up there too. It's really an amazing time to be a movie lover. I just hope people keep supporting physical media because so often rarer titles are not on streaming sites (neither are all the awesome extras and I just love behind the scenes docs).

The Last Broadcast (1998) reels you in.

You can obviously see how this is a predecessor to The Blair Witch Project, which really makes it very interesting to watch. There are a number of things the two films have in common like investigating a local legend (in this case, the Jersey Devil), the fake documentary approach, the question of supernatural or not, the use of mystery, making your no budget work for you rather than against you, etc. Heck, they both even have two directors. The Blair Witch Project feels more polished and convincing to me (the way they use 16mm film and a Hi8 camcorder helps I think) but I also like this film. It's true the ending doesn't quite deliver (I was surprised though) and sometimes it feels repetitive or stretched out; however, I still really enjoyed this film. The acting feels more real in The Blair Witch Project and their ending is better but both films have merit.

It Lives Again (1978) surpasses the original.

I was really impressed by this sequel. I love The Stuff and I liked It's Alive but the latter wasn't my favorite so I was wondering what direction part 2 would go in. How could they possibly do a follow-up? Shame on me for doubting Larry Cohen. The way he expanded the world was brilliant and I was happy to see John Ryan return. His opening speech to the new parents was very powerful and emotional. I could really feel for his character. I like how it all comes full circle too. I knew nothing about this film going in and I think that's the best way to watch movies. My only regret is not watching it sooner. Of course, Rick Baker does an excellent job with the FX and they're wise to not show the mutant babies too much. This series reminds me of the Basket Case films, which I also love. I'd gladly rewatch either trilogy. They just don't make them like this anymore. The Suckling is another one I enjoy and Baby Blood. Behold the infant horror subgenre!

The Best Horror Movie Store in Tokyo

If you're ever in Tokyo, you should visit Video Market in Shinjuku. This store is absolutely phenomenal. I love it so much. When I first moved to Japan 5 years ago in 2017, I found it, and I couldn't stay away. There is a life-size Alien in the doorway, Texas Chainsaw Massacre props, and signed photos from all the horror celebrities that have dropped by over the years like Bill Moseley, the director of Martyrs, and even Honey Bunny from Pulp Fiction. It's an incredible place filled to the brim with horror DVDs, Blu-rays, and even some VHS. Of course, every other genre is present too: westerns, crime, sci-fi, arthouse, erotica, etc. but the horror section is by far the biggest, broken down into sections like Giallo, German Splatter, Trash Horror, etc. I even got some old Fangoria there. It really can't be beat, and it isn't a chain. This store is one of a kind, which is why it needs the support even more and the owner is super nice too. There used to be more horror stores like this in Tokyo but they've all closed now except Video Market.

The Menu (2022) is wickedly funny.

The black humor in this reminds me of American Psycho. I feel like it's on that level, which is probably the highest compliment I can give. I especially loved Tyler's bullshit. It doesn't get better than that. All the acting is fantastic especially Ralph Fiennes, Nicholas Hoult, and Anya Taylor-Joy. I hesitated to watch this since I worried it would be too arthouse but they made it a lot of fun as well and it's exciting to sit through. It never gets dull. You can kind of guess where it's all going but they still manage to surprise you and pull you into the story so if you're on the fence about this one, dive in. Even one of my friends who is super critical of movies and doesn't really enjoy much these days loved this film so that says a lot. I ended up laughing and relating far more than I ever expected to. In other words, don't be stupid like me. This is a great film. I just tend to like watching older movies but if you like black humor, I think you'll definitely enjoy this.

Knock at the Cabin (2023) surprised me.

I didn't really have any interest in this film. Maybe it's the rather nondescript or generic-sounding title but I should've known you can't judge a book by its cover because damn I loved this movie. It hooked me from the start and had me completely engrossed. I was surprised M. Night Shyamalan directed this. I probably wouldn't have watched it had I known that but like The Visit and Split, this is a good one. I just have a hard time forgetting about The Happening or Lady in the Water or The Last Airbender or After Earth or Glass (to a lesser degree). But even Spielberg made some duds (The Lost World... Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Crap). M. Night can be a really great director and he shows that here. The cinematography and performances are all outstanding as well along with the writing (I'd be curious to read the book it's based on). I think M. Night should stop with his cameos though but I tend to not be a fan of director cameos anyway.

Buy the new End of the Line Blu-ray!

I really love Maurice Devereaux's End of the Line. It's a phenomenal achievement in indie horror and what he went through to get it made is staggering (besides all kinds of production hurdles, a personal loss that would make it pretty much impossible for anyone to continue). You can tell it's a real passion project and I just think it's a damn good movie. Now Terror Vision has released a brand new Blu-ray (buy it here) with an incredible 41-min new interview with Maurice Devereaux and it's amazing. He talks very openly and honestly about both the film and his career. It's also a bit heartbreaking since he mentions how he didn't enjoy filming End of the Line because of all the stress involved and how it's his last movie, which really sucks, but at least we got four features from him and his fantastic Clan of the Devil graphic novels (order those here). I just can't believe that even when a company was making a horror movie in Montreal, they didn't think to hire him or do a basic internet search. It's just insane. He should've been able to make a lot more movies with bigger budgets but I think it's almost impossible to succeed now as an indie filmmaker unfortunately. The lottery winners get the press but what about all those who fall through the cracks? Anyway, please support Maurice Devereaux and his incredible movies.

Battle Heater (1989) is absolutely amazing.

If you haven't seen Cyclops (1987), stop what you're doing and watch it. Especially for practical FX fans, it's jaw-dropping. Just get to the finale and you'll see what I mean... it all builds to that and boy does it pay off. Battle Heater is by the same director so you know you're in for something great. This time around it's a crazy comedy with a kotatsu (table with a blanket on top and a heater underneath) that starts eating people. It's brilliant and I can't believe it took me this long to see it. I think somebody actually gave the director a budget for this and that person deserves all the accolades in the world for such a great decision. Good call, sir. Good call. Sadly, many Japanese films are made very cheaply especially these days but you can tell Battle Heater had some money and damn did they put it to good use. This film is exhilarating and so much fun to behold. If you like Japanese cinema at all, you should give it a chance. I'm not really into comedies but I loved this and it's far more than just a comedy anyway.

Faust (1994) is incredibly unique.

Like the director's Alice film, Faust is really in a league of its own with its fantastic mix of stop motion animation and live action. There is a style here that feels totally original, not that other films haven't mixed the two mediums but the way it's done with this is different. The atmosphere is also peculiar and engaging. I can only imagine how long it took to make this. The marionette shows are so well done and imaginative. There doesn't seem to be any rules since all of a sudden, the marionettes can be out in a real life setting like a garden, not on a stage any longer and the human characters can also appear onstage with strings attached to them. It's really a wild piece of cinema showing you can go nuts and do what you want. The tale of Faust has been around for such a long time yet this film finds an exciting new way of telling it. I highly recommend it if you want something different.

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007) is quite good.

This Japanese urban legend is very interesting especially since there isn't one standard explanation for why the Slit-Mouthed Woman's face is messed up so every movie can have its own interpretation. I just wish the other Japanese films could get released in the West with English subtitles. I've found a couple others that did get put out on US DVDs but there are so many more that were made in Japan. Carved is probably the best though by the same director as Grotesque, Noroi, Sadako vs. Kayako, and many other films. This movie manages to be a bit creepy at times and the idea of an unstable woman kidnapping children is pretty disturbing. This legend obviously has a lot of potential even if the films tend to struggle with it like I'm not sure what to make of the body-hopping. That is different but it's maybe too much. It is fascinating though the way the legend can be traced back to the Edo period and a samurai supposedly mutilating his unfaithful partner.

Is Beware! The Blob (1972) really a comedy?

I know... how dare I question IMDb but I quite liked this film. Even lesser Blob is still great to me. I just never really found it that funny. People died in pretty gruesome fashion. True not as horrific as the remake and there was a ton of that kitten during the opening credits but the stakes still seemed rather dire. I wasn't sure if our leads would make it or not. The poster pitches it as quite serious too. Could somebody let Joe Lynch make a sequel to the 80s Blob? I'd love to see that. We need more Blob films especially with practical FX. I'm still so impressed by how they did the special effects in these films. I can see how CGI could help with some shots especially just to touch them up a bit but I'd still love it if they did another with all practical. Hey I'm nuts, I can dream. Bio Slime's stories of how they did similar FX in that are really fascinating. These kinds of films just seem insanely difficult to pull off. The Blob (1988) will always be one of my favorites.

Caged Heat (1974) is an interesting start to Jonathan Demme's long career.

Watching this I don't think you could ever predict this director would go on to do The Silence of the Lambs but there are also a ton of features separating the two so I shouldn't be so surprised. Even as someone who enjoys films like this, I had trouble getting into this one. I prefer The Big Bird Cage or Prison Heat but what do I know? I like Werewolf in a Women's Prison so you definitely shouldn't listen to me. What a strange subgenre this is. I think I might be brain dead because this was pretty dull to me. The synopsis made it sound exciting but so many of these women in prison films seem identical with almost the exact same plot. No worries if you enjoy this film. I just struggled with it but I was still very glad to see Demme's first feature. First films of famous directors are always so fascinating even if they're lackluster since you can see how very far they came. You have to put in the work and work really hard then work more and more and more.

Terrifier 2 (2022) is a huge win for uncut indie horror.

The fact this got into theaters uncut, made a bunch of money as an extreme anti-Hollywood slasher, and kept growing is just phenomenal. I really liked the first Terrifier and I loved the sequel even more. Art the Clown is so much fun, and I love how he never talks, he uses guns, etc. He's just a perfect unpredictable psychopath, and Sienna is an awesome final girl. I like how the film is over 2 hours long. It gives you a lot more time with these characters and makes it even more unconventional as a slasher. I was just so happy by the end. It's really a huge achievement for indie horror and practical FX in so many different ways. The Little Pale Girl is an excellent addition to the mayhem and I can't wait to see the next film. It makes me want to come up with a new horror icon but that's much easier said than done. The director was very smart the way he differentiated his killer clown from Pennywise. Art is a brilliantly twisted invention.

Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983) comes up short.

I always remember seeing the poster for this but the film itself is fairly boring unfortunately. No great slasher icon in this. Just an old lady with a sickle. Yeah... so scary. Even the kills are pretty dull. A lady gets her face slashed. Another guy is stabbed in the chest. One dude is bitten by a snake. Oh boy, can you get just a little exciting? Slasher fans will be snoring. No nudity. No great gore. No suspense really. I like how one character was just lying about owning Columbia Records but they needed to do something a lot more original and inventive or at least go gory and sleazy like Pieces. This film is just forgettable. Adding "Massacre" to the title was a clever way to get people to watch but they're all going to leave disappointed when said massacre never transpires. Definitely a lot better films out there to spend your time on. I love 80s horror but this a very poor example. Nothing memorable at all really, which is a shame. The opening is ok I guess.

Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996) is ridiculous fun.

I don't know how anyone could ever take this movie seriously. First of all, it's the Leprechaun series. I don't think it's possible for it to jump the shark. Go nuts. Do the craziest thing you can think of. Why not? Let's just have a blast. Leprechaun 3 was surprisingly pretty good so I was glad to see the same director back for another sequel but I was worried by the low IMDb rating. How very stupid of me. You should always see stuff yourself. You can tell watching this film that the director and writer are big fans of Aliens. You kind of get your Queen Alien, you got your low-rent space marines, etc. I thought it was very entertaining for what it is. A super sized Leprechaun? An alien space lady who just looks like a hot human girl with more makeup? Sure, go for it. Complaining about this would be like complaining about McDonald's. You should know what you're getting. It's obvious just by the title. I hope Darren Lynn Bousman gets to make his sequel, and I hope it's insane.

I couldn't get enough of Grizzly (1976).

Yes, it's clearly aping Jaws but I enjoyed this film so much. I already want to watch it again, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the charming characters and actors or the brutal violence but this was so entertaining. You really can't predict who will die next, and that is a huge part of it I think. The relationships also feel quite real. Some characters you're certain will make it end up in the meat grinder that they call a bear. Of course, I don't think it's realistic at all but it doesn't matter. Bears can be extremely dangerous and cause some gruesome deaths (you definitely don't want to run into one in real life) but this thing seems like a furry Terminator. Just look at that tagline on the poster: "18 feet of gut-crunching, man-eating terror!" That is brilliant and boy howdy does it deliver. I know one thing for certain: if I read that tagline, I'd have to see this movie but usually you'd end up regretting that decision. Well, not in this case.

The Day of the Beast (1995) is full of dark humor.

This film is really funny at times but pitch black. If you want to see a priest doing awful things because he needs to get on Satan's side to stop the birth of the Antichrist (quite twisted logic), this is your movie. I wouldn't be surprised if the director got death threats but it's just a movie and it's quite good. I can see it being controversial though, which is why the director should be applauded even more. Shudder had it under their Essentials category and you can see why. Some FX don't quite hold up but they're still impressive really and you get everything you're promised on that poster so I was happy there. I think horror fans will certainly like this film and it earns the 7.3 rating on IMDb. It's a fun unique horror comedy that subverts expectations very well. Spoiler alert but I like how the very beautiful girl who dresses all sexy is actually a virgin and the ending goes all out in the best ways so you won't be disappointed.

Xtro 3: Watch the Skies (1995) wasn't for me.

Like Xtro 2, which copied Aliens too much at times, the third film in this series doesn't seem wholly its own. I can't believe the same director did all three films but each one had different writers. I enjoyed the first Xtro quite a bit, and it was rather unique, but I couldn't get into this one. There are some dodgy FX when the alien turns invisible, cloaking like the Predator and I love a puppet but it just doesn't work here. Trying to imitate Predator is a very risky proposition especially if it comes up short because people will just make negative comparisons (does take guts to attempt it though). I think it's much better to try to do something unique although that's easier said than done. The characters weren't engaging for me and I didn't feel suspense or excitement watching it but I'm just one moron so if you really love this movie, good for you. I wish I could've enjoyed it because I do love Predator and even some of the knockoffs but I just couldn't get into Xtro 3. In defense of the director, I will say all three Xtro films are very different from each other so that's cool and I think it would be tough to do an alien movie like this so screw my silly opinion. Making a sequel is also not easy. Maybe financially it could be but I mean creatively.

Alien 2: On Earth (1980)... uhm... yeah...

Do I need to say anything? I mean it's obvious right? A bad Alien ripoff. A fake Italian sequel. It does have nudity in one scene and some odd kills but not nearly enough to make up for how insanely boring it is. Wait, is that an egg on the beach? Quick cut to someplace else. The FX are pretty bad even though they are practical. What sucks is how little FX you get and how everything else feels like filler for the worst cave movie you ever saw. Seriously, there is a monster in here killing people. They're trapped in a cave. How can you make it so dull? That takes a special kind of skill. No atmosphere, lifeless characters, nothing interesting going on, no sense of urgency or stakes, etc. I think my brain already expelled this dump out of self-preservation. So yeah, definitely skip this unless you just love suffering and even then there are about a billion better ways to toil in eternal pain although I guess boredom is one of the worst. But it's Alien 2... I had to watch it... please don't be as stupid as me...

The Only Real Way to Learn Directing

If you think a book, a class, or some making of doc is going to cut it, the sad truth is none of those will be enough. Sure they can help *a little* but the only way to really learn directing is by directing, and if you want to direct features, the only way to learn that is by directing features. Directing shorts can give you some insight but a short can be done in a day or a week, maybe a few months or six for post, but features take at least a year if not several. It's like running around the block compared to a cross-country marathon and even that ignores the time component, which takes forever when you get into editing (don't do it all yourself... but you will learn the most that way although you'll most likely learn you got a long way to go). Everybody wants to think you can watch someone else direct and then boom you can do it too. If you watch Spielberg, you can be Spielberg. It doesn't work like that. How many writers, producers, actors, FX artists, etc. have you seen become directors who worked with literally the best in the business but then their own work feels like a first-timer? It happens all the time because they are a first-timer, at least when it comes to directing a feature. Yes, sometimes, they can level up by paying the best crews to hoist them up but so often even that fails and it takes a lot of money. If you're watching from the sidelines, that's all you're doing. You're watching. You don't have the entire weight of that production on your shoulders, trying to juggle everything and problem solve a million things at once. Sure you can spot things *you think* they could have done better or little things they "missed" but how can you judge when you don't know all the shit they have to deal with? Until you are in that position with all that crap reigning down on you as you fight all the elements including motherfucking reality and your own people can you begin to understand the vast hellscape they're being crushed under especially on indies where so often one poor bastard is wearing far too many hats. Just look at the picture above. Staring into the jaws of the beast, that's film directing. Actually, Francis Ford Coppola's famous photo from Apocalypse Now is the most apt metaphor for being a film director especially an indie one.

All that aside, I love directing but you have to be ready to take a beating. Never let anyone say you can't do it but don't assume you know everything because you're a good cinematographer or you've been on a bunch of sets. Direct your first feature and you'll see what it's really like. Direct your first feature and you'll be humbled. Direct your first feature and you'll learn so much. It's really an incredible experience but it's not easy nor should it be. And a strange thing about directing features is it doesn't really get easier the more you make. It does kind of in some ways but it also becomes harder too especially if you really want to make something great.

Down to Hell (1997) can't measure up to Versus (2000).

But that isn't surprising considering the difference in budget and crew. It's hard to believe Versus (2000) was originally going to be Down to Hell 2 since this early effort pales in comparison but it's still cool to see. Everybody has to start somewhere. Even if you watch the first films of Hitchcock, Kubrick, or Villeneuve, it's tough to see the legends they'd become. Unless you have millions to hire professional artists to lift you up, your first film is likely to embarrass you later. That is only natural though. It means you've learned and made progress. You just have to keep working at it and try to always improve, which also means recognizing where you came up short. It's easier said than done. Down to Hell lacks cool FX or kills. Almost no gore, action, or suspense. It's pretty dull but hey, try to make a movie for no money. It's insanely difficult especially when you first start. Sure everybody says they could do better but that's just talk. Put your money where your mouth is then you'll understand.

XX: Beautiful Weapon (1993) won me over big time.

Having watched Guzoo (and obsessed over it... I love practical FX monsters what can I say), I was curious to see the director's Beautiful Weapon film. It didn't disappoint at all. I quite like this pinky violence series especially Beautiful Beast but this one might just be better. The way the story unfolds is pretty clever and I like the lead guy who realizes the trap of our beautiful assassin. It feels very much like she is a spider luring in her victims with sex, and they always think they have the advantage. It's definitely smarter than it needed to be. Yes, I know the US DVD cover is shit but the film is good. Alright, it's good if you like these types of films. Some people don't? Sorry I'm not normal. Who is normal? Probably not the guy talking to himself on a blog. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, giant atomic turtles aren't normal either but they're good at flying. What were we talking about? Cars. The Pixar movie? Geez, what's wrong with you? Quiet mom I'm writing my novel. Nobody reads blogs anymore? Can I ticktock this?