Hot Girl of Horror #8: Monica Keena

Freddy vs. Jason is what I remember her from. She was a little unintentionally funny in it sometimes, but she did a good job. The Night of the Demons remake was pretty good too, and she didn't hurt it either. She hasn't really done a ton of horror, but the projects she has been in are some of the better stuff. Yes, I never saw Left in Darkness and the cover makes me want to avoid it, but she also had a tiny part in The Devil's Advocate. Anyway, I keep getting distracted by something. Well, I guess there's more than one. Two big... hey! Get your head out of the gutter, will you? I'm talking about her eyes ok? Am I talking to you or me? Seriously, we all know why slow motion was invented, right? Monica Keena, Freddy vs. Jason, and slow motion... that's an unbeatable combination. I wonder if she has done any more horror since then. I'm lazy. Ice cream tastes good. I know this place here that has grape ice cream. Can you believe that? How do they get grapes in ice cream form? Boggles the mind right? Ninjas do it? I knew it. Freakin ninjas. Amazing. I wonder what else they do. Everything? Ninjas do everything? Wow the world is a magical place. Worth fighting for. What's in the box!?! Grape ninjas. Brilliant. I should be a writer... oh wait.

Hot Girl of Horror #2: Amber Heard

Unfortunately, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane still hasn't been released in the US, but it's definitely one you should check out. Of course, you'll probably still recognize Amber Heard from Drive Angry, Zombieland, and John Carpenter's The Ward. She is pretty hard to miss, and she obviously seems to like the horror genre so that's good news for us. Doesn't hurt that she's an incredible actress too. Update: poor Johnny Depp. Well, I guess technically rich Johnny Depp.

Hot Girl of Horror #1: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Ok, let's forget about the fact she was in The Thing prequel, one of the worst CG remake-in-disguise abominations to ever limp across the silver screen. It's not her fault it was an inept lifeless wretched we-can't-even-think-of-a-new-title are-you-really-just-copying-scene-after-scene-from-Carpenter why-did-I-watch-this-piece-of-shit movie. Sadly, she also showed up in The Ring Two, a film I absolutely refuse to watch (Gore Verbinski's remake was perfect, and yes, I love the Japanese films too... too bad Hollywood screwed over Hideo Nakata). So that leaves Final Destination 3? The Black Christmas remake? Dammit, she needs to be in some better horror movies. Come on guys. Somebody put her in some good horror movies please and while you're at it, erase The Thing prequel from history. At least, she got to be in Death Proof (thank you Tarantino) and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Good thing they never made a PG-13 Die Hard sequel...