Hot Girl of Horror #12: Maria Ozawa

The Japanese version of Elisha Cuthbert except she is primarily known for a different type of film if you know what I mean (smileyfacethingiegoeshere) but horror as well. For example, Tokyo Species. Yes, that's a real movie, and it's pretty much what you expect. You can see a trailer for it below... it looks awful and awesome at the same time. I want to see it. There's another by the name of Erotibot. That seems pretty weird, but she's topless with two swords. Count me in. She also did some Indonesian horror film called Hantu Tanah Kusir aka Carriage Ghost, which might be the only one she isn't naked in. So I probably won't see it... I mean, uh, nobody likes nudity. No one. Especially not guys. Ssssshhhhh. She is perty. How can she look so much like Elisha Cuthbert but still look Japanese? The world is a magical place. I need to go to Japan... for sushi of course. Yes, no other reason. None whatsoever. It has nothing to do with the beautiful Japanese girl in this post or the abundance of lovely girls over there. I'm digging a hole, aren't I? Dang evil internet.

Hot Girl of Horror #9: Elisha Cuthbert

Besides being Jack Bauer's daughter, Ms. Cuthbert has starred in a few horror films including the House of Wax remake, Captivity, and a family horror movie called Believe. I didn't even realize there is such a thing as "family horror," but I guess The Legend of Sleepy Hollow would qualify, and I love that. Can't believe that's so old. Still, horror and family seem like opposites... "Alright kiddies, it's time to watch Martyrs!" Anyway, I never saw Captivity so I can't really comment on it. I heard it isn't that great (4.6 rating on IMDb), but I would watch it just to see her. I thought she had been in more horror movies, but that shows you what I know. House of Wax was ok I guess. Paris Hilton's death scene was the best part. I don't think I'd ever watch it again though. Correction: it's a pretty damn good movie really so just ignore my previous stupid rambling. This is what wisdom gives you: you realize you don't know jack. Alright, ready for the pictures? Yes, you've suffered enough. Hey I've got space to fill. It's not my fault. You can look down at any time. Seriously go ahead. Chicken nuggets are weird. Like what part of the chicken is that? It's just a name? Ok fine. I like robots. But not the fat robots. Eh I like dem too.

Hot Girl of Horror #6: Kaley Cuoco

Did you know Penny did a horror movie? She did a couple actually: Killer Movie, The Hollow, and even a TV flick called Mr. Murder. So you know what that means: picture time. Hopefully, she'll star in some more horror films in the future. I definitely wouldn't consider that a bad thing. Seems like the ones she has been in so far are pretty forgettable. What a shame. She deserves better, but I guess good horror movies aren't as easy to come by as bad ones. Kinda crazy how she could be virtually unknown until she got super crazy famous on The Big Bang Theory. She actually has a lot of credits before that, but that's usually the case. Most actors and actresses have to do a lot of work before they get noticed. Some unfortunately never get so lucky, which is a shame. I thought horror tends to help people get noticed but I guess not true if the horror films themselves are not good although sometimes even the lackluster ones can be remembered fondly especially if a few decades have passed. Alright, that's enough ridiculous rambling from me. Enjoy.

Hot Girl of Horror #2: Amber Heard

Unfortunately, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane still hasn't been released in the US, but it's definitely one you should check out. Of course, you'll probably still recognize Amber Heard from Drive Angry, Zombieland, and John Carpenter's The Ward. She is pretty hard to miss, and she obviously seems to like the horror genre so that's good news for us. Doesn't hurt that she's an incredible actress too. Update: poor Johnny Depp. Well, I guess technically rich Johnny Depp.