Ghoulies II (1987) is much better than the first.

I love the practical FX in this, and they even redo the toilet scene that was really just a brief shot in the first one (I read they actually added it after the fact once they came up with that great poster). I had never seen these films until recently but of course, the VHS cover was always in my head. The original film has some nice moments but I really enjoyed the sequel a ton more. You get quite a few more monsters, the FX are better, the ending is cool and unexpected, etc. Seems a shame the sequels after this went downhill. Empire Pictures put out so many awesome movies like Re-Animator, Robot Jox, From Beyond, TerrorVision, Troll, Trancers, etc. I really want to see the documentary Celluloid Wizards in the Video Wasteland when it's finally released (I hate that I missed out on that Kickstarter). Indie film companies really should be celebrated because they are few and far between especially the ones that actually stick around a while (and the ones that make monster movies!).

I still really enjoyed Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009).

Sure, I prefer 16mm or 35mm over the early digital look but I still liked this film a lot. I really wish great Japanese genre directors like Tsukamoto could get crazy 50-150 million dollar budgets for their work. It seems rare for the budgets to increase for sequels in Japan unfortunately. At least, the director Yoshihiro Nishimura appeared to have gotten more money with the sequel to the 2005 film Meatball Machine since the cinematography was much improved on Meatball Machine Kodoku but digital also came a long way in the 12 years between those films. Back to Tsukamoto's work though, Body Hammer also looked to have a much larger budget than the first film so I'm sad that doesn't seem to be the case with number three. I always wish we could get more behind the scenes details on these Japanese films. Joe Bob Briggs was saying that Tarantino tried to help Shinya Tsukamoto get this third film off the ground but it never materialized. After reading interviews with Tsukamoto, it's easy to see why that didn't pan out since American producers wanted Tetsuo to be more understandable to US audiences, they insisted on a famous lead actor, etc. I think it's good his vision wasn't compromised by doing his third Tetsuo in Hollywood. Regardless, the ingenuity, insane passion, and creativity will forever impress me on this belated third entry. He still managed to do a ton of FX and action with some very cool sequences. Of course, I would've preferred grungy 16mm or 35mm but regardless, I very much enjoyed it. Tetsuo is such a unique interesting trilogy. I hope one day we can get a fourth film with more money behind it but only if Tsukamoto can do it his way.

Review: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Having recently watched all four cinematic adaptations of this classic 1955 serial by Jack Finney, I have to declare this one to be the very best for a number of reasons. Obviously with actors like Donald Sutherland, Jeff Goldblum, Veronica Cartwright, and Leonard Nimoy, the cast is spot on, but what really impressed me is the way something creepy is always happening in the background. Normally, the first act would be reserved for a lot of setup that could be potentially boring or just not as engaging as when our heroes are literally running for their lives. It's different here though especially if you're familiar at all with this infamous story since they keep ratcheting up the tension even from the very beginning when a teacher nonchalantly instructs her children to take the pod flowers back to their parents (not to mention, there's also the eerie excellent credit sequence on a distant planet with the alien seeds spreading). When our main characters witness a crowd of people relentlessly chasing a man down the street, they naturally reason, "He must have done something," despite the chilling odd nature of the scene and for those in the audience who know this tale, the horrifying reality behind these seemingly mundane events sinks in even deeper. We know soon our protagonists will be in the very same situation with their only crime being that they are in fact still human amongst a growing population of soulless pod people.

Of course, the special effects, greatly improved since the 1956 black-and-white version, really add a lot to this terrifying story particularly because you won't find a single drop of CGI. Everything here is practical. Done in-camera, and it gives every moment a visceral real quality that computers won't ever be able to touch. Plus, the actors have something physical to respond to so their performances never seem canned or glazed over. I'm not against CGI done well and in limited quantities for things you can't physically do, but I just have to admit I love practical. The opening space credit sequence without any CGI really puts a smile on my face, because I know, sadly, now that would be all computer-generated yet the clever ingenious way they did it back then still looks flawless today.

I can easily see why this story has been remade so many times. It's just creepy with two brilliant unnerving concepts at its heart: they get you when you sleep (and we all have to sleep) and my husband is not my husband; my wife is not my wife; my child is not my child; they look the same but we know they're not and no one will believe us. That screams pure horror, but aside from the weird bit with a homeless guy's head on his dog (I guess to show errors do occur and to play up the strange grotesque side a bit more though I think it's a little goofy), any future attempts to top this version are pretty futile. I do like the 90s remake; however, it still pales in comparison to this adaptation, and the most recent one ranks the lowest by far, ensuring it'll probably be a long time before anybody else tries again. If you missed this film even if you've watched the other remakes, you got to see this. It's truly a masterpiece.

Hellraiser 2 sucks. No, but the ending does.

Actually, I love Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 so take what I say with a grain of salt (or a pillar). Sure, the film isn't perfect (what movie is) but it's still quite amazing, and it's easily the best Hellraiser sequel. It is quite a coincidence (or is it?) that Kirsty ends up in the hospital of a complete psychopath who has been collecting all the Lament Configuration puzzle boxes (it does make sense though such a man would track down a little girl good at solving puzzles), and it's rather funny how easy it is to get to Dr. Channard's "Maintenance" level of torture (I really hope he had a secret code or something on that elevator), but you get a good gruesome villain with Julia taking Frank's role from the first one. It may seem a bit of a rehash from the original with her needing skin, but they have a nice little montage to get you through the familiar territory. I did wonder why Julia and Channard just left Kirsty by herself (and didn't kill her) before they went to watch Tiffany figure out the puzzle box, but Julia explains later they needed to bring some souls (you'd think they'd want to keep Kirsty from escaping though).

Anyway, the real issues start once they enter hell. The part with Frank is excellent, cementing Julia as the main antagonist, but before long, her death scene seems to come out of nowhere giving a bit of a weak finale to her character. I mean it seems like a strong wind killed her, which isn't a fitting demise for the new queen of hell. After all, we've still got 24 min left in the film at this point so they could've done more (but I know the budget was cut at the last minute).

That breeze gonna be the death of you.

Ignoring that it's not the best way to kill your key bad guy, it doesn't make much sense either since all of a sudden, a huge vertical slit magically appears down her back so then she can get sucked out of her skin despite moments earlier being able to move in the drafty corridor (people have said she didn't heal completely from her regeneration but still it's kind of a weak death scene that happens so suddenly without much of a setup). That whole sequence comes off a bit low budget since the whole killer breeze effect could be more convincing especially as Julia crawls against it using her two hands on the walls (plus, you know the actress is obviously standing upright... sorry I am nitpicking here) and no one is actually horizontal due to the strong force blowing them (which might be a necessity if it's going to be so strong to rip your antagonist out of her flesh) but where will they fly to anyway? It's not like they're hanging off the edge of a cliff or there's a wall of spikes at the end of the hallway. There's nothing but some light behind them and the really long tunnel. Is she going to take a carpet ride around the maze or something? And why would the entity of this place want to get rid of Julia if she's bringing it souls like it wants? Shouldn't the hero kill her aka Kirsty? That's pretty nice of hell to help them out like that. I wonder if this was the original death for Julia or if it was changed due to the budget slashing.

Wheeee, I'm flying somewhere but no one knows where or why! Wheeeeeeee, can't show this shot for too long or you'll realize this doesn't make much sense!

Of course, you can also complain about Dr. Channard's one-liners ("The doctor... is in!" "What was today's agenda? Ah yes, evisceration!" "Your case is closed, Tiffany! I'm afraid it's terminal!") but actually I kind of love those and they don't bother me anywhere near as much as Pinhead's lackluster demise. They could've had an epic cenobite vs. cenobite showdown. Instead Pinhead uses a few chains to hook Channard, which easily get broken, and then Channard slits Pinhead's throat after slaughtering the other cenobites who don't even fight back at all. It's a bit disappointing. If you're going to kill Pinhead and the cenobites, at least let them tear the shit out of each other first. Pinhead and the others should obviously be a lot more experienced and stronger than Channard. If there was a deeper idea or reason behind this like Channard had the full power of the Leviathan behind him or whatever, it should've been setup earlier in the film because this makes Pinhead look so inferior like a bad joke, and it's a shame too since Bradley does such a great job with the character even in that scene.

Kirsty likes to French cenobites.

But don't worry, I have more complaints (yep, this is what nerds on the internet do). Julia comes back except twist time! It's Kirsty wearing her skin! And that is a bit too absurd. For about a million reasons. Obviously, there's no way Kirsty could just put on Julia's skin and look exactly like Julia unless Kirsty was all bloody muscle too at the exact same size and height of Julia... yeah. Then there's the fact they show a Lament Configuration thingie that transformed Channard rising up behind Tiffany and then Julia/Kirsty comes out of there. But they don't actually show her exit it! That's true, but she enters from that side of the screen where there's just a ledge and they show the hallway entrance beside Tiffany in the same shot so you know Julia/Kirsty didn't come out of the hallway! So where could she have possibly come from? You mean to tell me she somehow magically got in that thing and wasn't turned into a cenobite? The only reason Julia/Kirsty enters from that side is to fake out the audience, but the way they show the hallway in the same shot and the way they set it all up makes it impossible that Julia/Kirsty didn't come out of there. Why was the Lament Configuration thingie rising up anyway? It wanted Tiffany? Then why does it magically disappear afterwards? Couldn't it reach out and get her with its monster arm thingies? Ok, let's ignore those two gripes. Don't forget Kirsty had to run all the way back to where the skin was, dress up in it (she doesn't have a mirror either to make sure it fits perfectly), run all the way back, somehow enter from the ledge side without using the hallway, etc. But say you buy that. Then Julia/Kirsty kisses Channard for like 20 min. Ok, it's not that long, but it actually is pretty damn long to makeout with a disgusting cenobite (Tiffany has to solve the other puzzle so it lasts quite a while even if they try to make it seem shorter but it's still long), and you'd think Kirsty would have a hard time doing the whole gross tongue thing with him (they clearly show a very involved French kiss) without him realizing she ain't Julia.

Cool effect if only it made more sense why this happened.

Then you get Channard's death, which is about as underwhelming as Julia's and Pinhead's. Keep in mind while Channard tries to kill Tiffany, Julia/Kirsty does nothing but watch. So Channard gets two his tentacle knife things stuck in the ground. You'd think the force of the other big tentacle thing attached to his head would be enough to pull the knife things out before ripping off Channard's head, but there's also the fact that you see earlier Channard has at least two tentacles that can come out of each of his palms for a total of four so he could use the other two to just sever the two stuck tentacles. But obviously, they had to kill him so they came up with a rather unbelievable way to do it (this movie really needs better villain death scenes). Why couldn't Kirsty or Tiffany actually find a way to kill Channard? It is cool the way Channard's head gets torn off, but it's just disappointing how it happens.

Black light isn't really scary.

And I didn't mention the Leviathan aka the lackluster giant thing in the sky with black light coming out of it that is supposed to be the ruler there or whatever. That leaves a lot to be desired. You couldn't try to create something a little bit more imaginative? I guess the cenobites help outweigh the underwhelming aspects of that (it's not really very cool or frightening although it is quite different in design from the cenobites), but still, the Leviathan could've been better. So yeah, what should have been the best part of the movie turns out to have some issues. But hey, I still love this film and I know there were some serious production problems so I shouldn't be so crazy critical. We all like to think filmmakers can do anything but there are always restraints: either time, money, or the studio screwing you over. I do think it's a great film regardless. It's very hard making films especially a sequel to a beloved classic and yet I think Hellbound is better in many ways than the original since Julia is great particularly her skinless scenes, Dr. Channard is an amazing addition, Kyle's death is awesome and surprising, etc. There's a lot to love in this film.