The End of Dexter

No spoilers here. I can't believe it's over... the final episode. I loved the show. Sure, some seasons were better than others (how do you top the Trinity Killer?), but I never thought any season was flat-out awful. Michael C. Hall was always phenomenal and kept Dexter interesting even through some of its weaker moments. All the actors and characters were pretty amazing. I really liked Doakes. "Stop grinning like a fuckin psycho and get back to work." Their scenes together in the first season were some of my favorites. He never fell for the phony smile or the box of donuts. Of course, I liked Deb too despite how crazy they made her in the last couple seasons, but everybody was great: Batista, LaGuerta, Masuka, even Quinn, and James Remar was perfect as Harry. It's so nuts how they got you to root for a serial killer and made him someone you can relate to... obviously, the fact he only killed bad guys (at least, that was his code) went a long way. Seeing him take out complete and utter scum was definitely a highlight. His uncertainty at how to handle fatherhood, his difficulty with human interaction and human emotions, the playfully ironic (and sometimes quite funny) voice-overs, watching him always talk to his dad for advice and care about his sister, etc. all helped show different sides of him so he wasn't just a one-dimensional monster. Then of course, placing him next to the worst psychotic killers out there who murdered and raped innocent people made Dexter seem almost like a saint in comparison. I don't think any adversary came close to John Lithgow's character Arthur Mitchell. He was so fuckin good, and the parallels to Dexter's own life gave it another level. That season was incredible. I want to re-watch it.


Ok, spoiler time. I kinda like the ending and I kinda don't. I didn't see it coming at all. I was actually hoping Dexter would get away with Hannah and Harrison. I hated Deb dying. I know Dexter is a serial killer obviously, and he did get good innocent people murdered like LaGuerta, but they did so well with the character that by the end, you're really on his side except yes, there's still the LaGuerta thing (and Doakes and Prado's brother and quite a few others you forget about, which is definitely bad). But seeing Dexter finally feel so many emotions and care about people, not wanting to kill but to just be with Hannah and his son, I really wanted them to be happy together. Harrison needs a father even if Dexter is screwed up (no father is perfect, and if Dexter stops killing, they shouldn't be in danger especially in a foreign country far away where no one knows them). But I understand why they ended it that way, and killing LaGuerta really was wrong so they shouldn't just get away with that. Plus, from Dexter's point of view, he hurt Deb really badly when she found out the truth about him yet even when he decided to not kill Saxon, Deb still ended up dead so to him, it must seem like no matter what he does, he hurts the people he loves, but Deb told him not to blame himself. It was kinda comically funny how easy it was for Dexter to steal Deb's body to put on his boat, but I guess everyone was focused on the hurricane, he did wheel her out on the bed, etc. I did love him killing Saxon with that pen. I read about the other proposed ending where Dexter wakes up at the end to a lethal injection as he sees all the people he murdered watching from the other side so the whole show was his life flashing before his eyes as he died, but I don't really like that either. Isn't death too easy of a way out? And you expect him to be dead or in jail. I just don't think Dexter would abandon his son since Harrison really does need him, but again, I kinda do like Dexter all by himself, completely alone and avoiding any human contact. I don't know how I feel about a spin-off or a new series. I wish the end was the end, but of course, if something makes a lot of money, they got to milk it for all they can. I would watch more, but Michael C. Hall would have to come back, and I hope the motivation wouldn't be purely financial.

Hot Girl of Horror #23: Odette Yustman

I've only seen one film of hers: Cloverfield, and I liked it a lot even though I'm sick of the found footage gimmick, but I thought that movie used it well without being annoying. Actually, I guess she had a tiny role in Transformers as a "socialite." Poor girl. I was curious about The Unborn, but I ended up skipping it despite the attractive poster (they really used her to sell it, didn't they?). Looks like the only other semi-horror flick of hers would be And Soon the Darkness. The reviews for it are pretty awful, but damn, can I live on that island? Amber Heard and her in bikinis? Good casting. Ok, I just found out something disturbing. She was in Kindergarten Cop. I have no idea which kid she played in that, and I don't want to know. Thanks IMDb. Update: she is awesome in the show Banshee, and if you haven't seen that show, you should correct that ASAP. Nudity aplenty... err, I mean an amazing story and characters but actually yes, it has both. She is a real badass in it too.

Are practical FX making a comeback?

I certainly hope so. Don't get me wrong. I think CGI can be an excellent tool and accomplish amazing things when it's not overused or abused, which is quite rare, but I grew up on Aliens, John Carpenter's The Thing, Predator, The Terminator, etc. so for me, nothing comes close to practical FX. I watched Movie Magic all the time as a kid. I loved it to death, and the fact these people could make real, moving monsters was just unbelievably incredible to me. Try to think of a CG werewolf that compares at all to An American Werewolf in London. I can't think of any computer-generated monsters that can stand up to Rob Bottin's phenomenal work on The Thing. I know some types of movies like superhero films probably couldn't be done without CGI, but even in that category, part of the reason why The Dark Knight was so exceptional is Nolan kept the computer effects to a minimum. Look at how little the shark appears in Jaws or how Ridley Scott creatively kept the titular creature hidden so much in Alien. One of the problems with CGI is people don't think there are any limits to it yet time and money are always obstacles so if you don't have the room in your budget to correct a computer effect or enough time to make it as photo-realistic as possible (or you have 500 shots to do when you can only manage 200), you're going to end up with sub-par results. There's just something so much more engrossing and exciting about real stunts and real creatures that physically exist in our world. Actors can give better performances, and filmmakers are forced to deal with real-world limitations, which so often end up improving the final product.

The Harbinger Down Kickstarter was insanely fascinating to me since Alec Gillis actually explained why studios opt for CGI when practical is usually cheaper (and better), and the reasoning blew my mind. They only care about the tax incentives from farming computer effects out to labor in other countries. You can see how the business side of filmmaking has completely overrun Hollywood. Everything has to be a franchise now with a brand name, endless sequels, merchandising tie-ins, and of course, the latest crappy computer effects to wow kids who've never seen practical FX. It's really a shame, but projects like Harbinger Down give me hope. I thought the days of practical-FX creature features were behind us so I'm extremely pleased to see someone pick up the torch. Fire City is another one I'm greatly anticipating, and as long as we've got some filmmakers like Adam Green who insist on using practical (so glad he used real wolves in Frozen and decided not to rely on shitty CG blood in the Hatchet films), there's still a chance the pendulum could swing back in the opposite direction. Ok, that'll never happen, but I can dream, and I'm going to do what little I can to help. I know tons of people like me want to see more practical FX, and thankfully, as already noted, some talented people in the industry like Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff, Jr. are pushing for this as well. Plus, you'd think with the popularity of shows like Face Off, more studio executives would get the hint, but obviously, they're blinded by box office numbers. If more and more practical-FX movies come out and do well though, who knows. I just want to see real monsters again. I know they're only one piece in a much larger puzzle. You need a great story and fantastic characters too, but for horror films especially, the FX matter. If Aliens or John Carpenter's The Thing were redone with crappy CGI (wait... The Thing was... yeah, I'm trying to forget the awful prequel), they would definitely lose something. So much of their incredible magic would be gone, and we can't let that happen. At least, not without a fight. If we want to see more practical FX, we've got to support those films. Of course, they need to be quality movies too, but heck, I'd still rather see a flawed practical-FX monster flick than some stupid CG SyFy piece of shit.

So are practical FX making a comeback? Probably not, but dammit, I hope so. I really, really hope so.

P.S. Can someone tell them to stop using CG blood? It sucks.
P.S.S. Why isn't Movie Magic out on DVD?

Hot Girl of Horror #22: Minka Kelly

The Pumpkin Karver... yep, that is a movie with a 3.2 rating on IMDb. Sounds like one of the best things about it is Minka Kelly. She was also in a horror flick called Devil's Highway (yet another 3.x rating). Apparently, her best foray into horror is 2011's The Roommate. I never saw any of these. Never even heard of them, and if you read the reviews out there, they all sound pretty bad. That seems to be the way it is for most actresses. Start out in some crappy horror movies, and then hopefully get some better jobs later on. Even Naomi Watts was in Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (that's actually the subtitle so if you didn't know better, there'd be your first clue you're in for a wretched waste of celluloid... sadly, for poor Minka, it has a higher rating than both The Pumpkin Karver and Devil's Highway, but you got to start somewhere). And hey, you never know, those movies could be good. Maybe. Yeah. Probably not.

Frankenstein's Army has some amazing FX but too much shaky cam and weak characters.

After the incredible trailers for Worst Case Scenario, I couldn't wait to see this, and as far as the practical FX monsters go, the film doesn't disappoint, but unfortunately, they decided to use a found-footage-style, first-person perspective. That wouldn't have been bad if they avoided a ton of shaky cam. Sadly, they did not, and particularly at the beginning, it gets old fast. It also takes 20 minutes to get to the first real creature, which would've been fine if they developed the characters beforehand and made you care about them, but they don't. You just get cliched outlines: asshole, old guy in charge, the good guy, the newbie, etc.

I love this guy, but I don't even remember him in the movie. I'm sure he shows up somewhere, but he doesn't really do anything.

Another great design that is largely wasted. I know you can't do something with every creature, but he should've killed someone.

I would still recommend it for the awesome monsters, but I wish it didn't have so much damn shaky cam. I really hate that. A couple people have also pointed out that the Russians didn't have film cameras with built-in microphones back then. They probably should've just ditched the whole found-footage thing and shot it like a normal movie with some occasional POV shots. At its best though, the movie feels like a ride through a kickass haunted house with a wicked set of nasty bio-mechanical creations. If only they gave us some real characters to care about or some more time with the mad scientist (he actually isn't in it very much). Regardless, I'm sure I'll watch it again just for the crazy creatures. There's plenty of gore too. I just wish they did more with the story and the characters.

The Raid Giveaway Winner!

Congratulations to Devin Sabas! The Blu-ray is on the way. Thanks to everyone for entering! I'll be doing another giveaway soon!

Hot Girl of Horror #21: Kate Beckinsale

I'm not really a fan of the Underworld movies (I can't believe there are four now), and I hated Van Helsing (worst Dracula ever and talk about some awful, awful CGI), but I still like Kate Beckinsale. She's a good actress, and of course, she's drop-dead gorgeous. From what everyone says, she's also the best thing about the completely unnecessary and bland Total Recall remake. Hopefully, she'll be in some better horror movies in the future. Maybe Vacancy was good, but I didn't see it. Van Helsing should've been good... Hugh Jackman, Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man. It takes some real talent to screw that up. Yeah, I'm still pissed about that movie. Frankenstein's Monster swinging on a cable? WTF? Even Beckinsale in a corset couldn't save that. Ok, I'll stop complaining. I just hope she can be in some better horror movies and please remake Van Helsing but do it right this time. That was such an awful film.

Why is The Crazies remake so awesome?

I didn't expect much from this one. I'm pretty burned out on remakes. They just keep coming and coming like an ever-growing horde of decaying zombies with more and more limbs missing so I was extremely surprised to find The Crazies worth watching. In fact, I loved it. For starters, the pacing is brutal. They don't drag shit out. Forget showing the ordinary world for 30 minutes. They turn that upside down 3 minutes in. Not only that but they establish likable characters, give you an authentic small town feeling, and hint that a lot of bad shit is going to happen. I haven't really liked Timothy Olyphant in the other films I've seen him in (although I don't think that is any fault of his own... an actor can only do so much with poor writing), but here he fits perfectly and his performance is great. Plus, you've got a fantastic supporting cast with Joe Anderson (I don't know him from anything else, but he's outstanding), Radha Mitchell (Silent Hill), Danielle Panabaker, Glenn Morshower (24!), etc. Even the guy playing a psycho husband (Brett Rickaby and he actually has a lot of credits) is outstanding. The makeup and FX are phenomenal. Same with the sound design, and you get tension throughout. I like how they flesh out the military a little as well. The movie also has a lot of replay value. I've actually seen it quite a few times, and I still enjoy it.

The only nitpicking you could do (and I guess it's valid for an infection movie) concerns how people get sick, because in one scene, the sheriff clearly gets diseased blood in a wound yet his wife who is a doctor doesn't seem to care, and it apparently has no effect on him (or maybe it does but we don't see it in the film's short time span). But hell, everything else is so good, I don't care. This film doesn't play nice either. It'll kill characters you care about in a heartbeat, and I love the three homicidal hunters. I was kinda shocked the director of this made Sahara. I don't remember anything about that movie except wondering why I wasted my time watching it, but The Crazies is superb. Dark and bloody with characters you root for.

Hot Girl of Horror #20: Shannyn Sossamon

I never saw Devour, Catacombs or One Missed Call (the remake) so I can't say anything about the horror films she has been in, but if they suck (and the reviews don't seem very flattering), it's not her fault. She is excellent in The Rules of Attraction and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Both are also amazing films. I was curious about The Day, but I'm a little tired of post-apocalyptic movies without any monsters, and I'm worried that is the case there. But it's probably still good. I'll definitely check it out one of these days. I just need a break after The Road, The Divide, and The Book of Eli. We need some more good monster movies. I can't wait for Harbinger Down. If there's one thing the world needs more of, it's old-school practical FX. And monster movies. A lot more monster movies but no CGI. Please for Cthulhu's sake, no CGI. Somebody needs to try to top The Thing. Come on. Somebody. Please. It's impossible I know but dang it somebody try. Pretty please. She can act in it. Yeah I'm dreaming. It'll never happen or it'll be awful.

I grew up on The Green Slime.

Well, that and Aliens. And Predator ("I'm heerrrrreee... kill me nooooowwww!") and a ton of Godzilla movies. So yes, I love this movie, and I'm a little sad it has a 4.0 rating on IMDb. I guess a lot of people think it's cheesy and stupid. I suppose the opening song is pretty goofy, but I don't care. I remember seeing this as a kid and having it blow my mind then trying to figure out what the hell it was called as an adult. I rewatched it recently, and I still think it's awesome. Even if it's a little dated (ok, very dated), that is part of its charm. But really this story doesn't waste any time. Within the first few minutes, you find out an asteroid is on a collision course with Earth. They quickly put together a team to land on it and plant bombs. By the thirty min mark, they've already blown it up. So what took Armageddon 2 hours and 30 min to do, they've finished in their first act (by the way, Armageddon has a 6.4 rating on IMDb... what's wrong with this picture?).

Then of course, you get the best part: the monsters. And since this was shot at Toei Tokyo Studios with a Japanese director, they have tentacles. Alright, maybe not every Japanese drools over tentacles, but they seriously show up a lot. They even have a special subgenre of porn with them... yeah. I'm not joking, and it's weird. Girls wrapped in tentacles with the slimy things going in certain places... I don't understand the appeal. And it's basically an FX show since you need guys to operate the damn tentacles offscreen. What's worse is when I told my brother, he replied, "You didn't know?" I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Anyway, some might complain the monsters are ridiculous rubber pieces of shit. Yes, they could be better, but I love 'em. Sure, they don't compare to Giger's famous xenomorph or Stan Winston's skull-totin' space hunter (in fact, next to them, yeah, they look awful), but this movie was made in 1968, and it's easy to see the great imagination behind them even if they couldn't execute it perfectly. Yep, I'm probably the only person who loves this movie. What can I say? I have a soft spot for monster movies. But come on. This is a million times better than Armageddon.

10 Things in My Monster Squad Tree House!

Thanks to Freddy in Space for this awesome idea! Read his list here!

1) Kenner Aliens Toys

Yes, these are awful, but I love 'em. Snake Alien and all. Actually, I'm trying to think of the most ridiculous one... probably the Mantis Alien or the Killer Crab Alien? That'd have to be one tiny Facehugger to get on a Praying Mantis. But hell, I don't care. They're awesome even Gatling Gun Bishop (did they even watch the movie?).

And I have to include their infamous 1979 18" Alien Doll, which I saved and saved for as a kid until I could finally buy one with its box (yes, I had to have the damn box too).

2) Monster in My Pocket

I didn't even remember what these guys were called until I saw them on Freddy in Space, but I fuckin loved these.

3) Ghostbusters Monsters

These were the most amazing things to me as a kid (ok, besides Cameron's masterpiece Aliens). The mummy toy always reminded me of Monster Squad because you could take off his arm and head with only his bandages holding them on like when the mummy came unwrapped in the film. If you're wondering (like I was) why the heck they called the cartoon (and these toys) "The Real" Ghostbusters, Wikipedia says it was added to the title after a dispute with Filmation and its Ghost Busters properties. Still seems stupid to me since they're obviously the same with the same characters, same song, etc. and I never even noticed "The Real" there before.

4) Robocop vs. Terminator (Genesis)

This game was so ridiculously gory. I loved it, and the Sega opening with the ED-209 growl... classic. Even the music kicked ass. I don't think I ever beat it though. I got to the end boss, but I couldn't kill it. Yep, I need to play this again.

5) Alien vs. Predator (SNES)

My brother and I only had a Sega Genesis as a kid so I had to play SNES over at a friend's house. Of course, if I had my own Monster Squad tree house, I'd have both. This was another game I loved to death. Basically, just Streets of Rage but you get to be Predator and beat the shit out of Aliens (and pick up skulls and food along with a ton of his signature weapons like his spear, throwing disc, etc.). The cut scenes were great for the time, and I thought the music and sound FX were excellent. Writing about this reminded me of F-Zero and Contra III, two other incredible SNES games.

6) Fangoria and Cinefantastique

Sorry I couldn't choose just one. When I was a kid, I'd flip through Fangoria and just look at the pictures. The same thing I did with my Dark Horse Aliens comics.

7) Cinefex and Famous Monsters of Filmland

Yep, I couldn't leave these out. If I had all these magazines, I'd never leave the tree house, but that'd be fine by me.

8) Halloween Masks

I remember always seeing a Predator mask up at Spencer's in the mall. I wanted that more than anything, but I never had enough to buy it (I was probably 10). It was pretty expensive, and now it's almost impossible to find because all you've got are crappy AvP masks, which I couldn't care less about. Of course, I'd love to have an Alien mask as well or the full freakin costume, but I'm dreaming.

9) Stephen King's IT

This movie traumatized me as a child. Every time I went into a book store, I would punch the cover of the book (it was the same as above with Pennywise front and center). In 8th grade, I read the full book and loved it. Then I started reading King's other books: The Shining, Insomnia, Salem's Lot, The Dark Tower, etc.

10) Godzilla Posters

Got to pay tribute to the king. I'd also have to put up one for Aliens, Predator, Robocop, John Carpenter's The Thing, The Exorcist, Versus, David Cronenberg's The Fly, etc. And yeah, I want a NES so I can play the two shitty Godzilla games. Actually, I think they were pretty awesome (yep, even the second one).