Eat the Schoolgirl: Osaka Telephone Club (1997)? With a title like that, say no more!

If only Japan was still making classics like this! How I wish. Here is another film I shouldn't like as much as I do but it's my kind of crazy. It's very much what I was hoping for from the first Siren 妖女伝説 セイレーン although that one failed to deliver but Eat the Schoolgirl is brilliant! Sure it's gory and sleazy but it's also artistic. Is she an angel? Or is the main character just really that nuts? This needs a Blu-ray with a 10-hour making of so we can ponder all these sordid details with the creators. I am very curious what inspired this and what the influences were. There is a 45 min interview with the director on the Japanese Blu-ray. Some boutique company needs to pick this one up. Such important cinema has to be preserved. I've actually seen quite a few of the director's other films as well like Erotibot, Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies, Maid-Droid, etc. but this is my favorite so far. We need a box set.

Hellhole (1985) reminds me why I love the '80s.

I always fear the dreaded bait-and-switch with posters but this is another stellar example of one that gives you exactly what it promises. I usually don't like mental asylum movies either but I really enjoyed Hellhole. Nice title too. The '80s just had so many amazing movies and right when I think I've seen all the best ones, I stumble on something like this. The IMDb rating is unfair in my opinion but that's usually true with horror/exploitation. I was glad to see Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) in this and I like the women-in-prison vibe. There is some atmosphere and mystery too, which kept me intrigued. I don't think you should take this movie too seriously, just enjoy the ride. It has all the hallmarks of good '80s horror: nudity, slashing, fun villains, etc. and at just 90 minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome. I wish we could films like this these days instead of boring CGI-stuffed junk. I don't want to watch a 3-hour videogame.

One amazing sequence in Succubus (2024).

I'm talking about the Ron Perlman film, not the Russian film. I did watch both and I was hoping for a lot more but one particular part was so awesome I think I love this movie. If you watch it, you'll know what I mean and then probably hate me for watching it but damn that's what I wanted to see. I wish they didn't go the modern tech route and I wish there was female nudity (it is a succubus movie after all) but that one sequence kinda makes up for everything. I wish the main guy was likeable or there wasn't so many shots of screens but when you finally get the real succubus, it delivers. I love the makeup and FX. I just wish there was a lot more of that in the movie. And they could've done so much more with Ron Perlman. He would have been a better main character or at least more interesting. A "trial separation" husband taking care of a baby at home is an odd choice to go hunting for tail online and find a succubus on a dating site... but again that one sequence blew me away. And hey, it's hard to make a good movie especially writing. I would be curious to see behind the scenes to understand why they chose that direction but that set piece made up for nearly everything in my mind. Yes, I'm an idiot and I've seen far too many succubus movies but none had anything remotely as awesome as that. You can see what I mean below. This scene definitely inspired me. The makeup is like Tim Curry in Legend.

In honor of Rick Melton.

If you've perused some German Mediabooks (sorry I'm a wee bit obsessed with them), you've no doubt seen the spectacular art of Rick Melton. His paintings are so badass and of course, NSFW. I just love his style and every time I see a Mediabook with his art, I just want to buy it even when I know the movie is bad (he makes Rawhead Rex look awesome!). If I could afford him, I would love to have him create something for one of my films but I think his work is the absolute best now. I can't put the best examples below because of the nudity but I recommend searching on eBay and his own site. His style is perfect and I'm a huge fan. His work reminds me of the great Italian artists like Emanuele Taglietti or Alessandro Biffignandi. They did brilliant work for fumetti, which I also love to collect. I'm glad these guys are getting more recognized now because artists like Rick Melton should really be celebrated.

Too Busy Filming

Sorry I got behind on updates since I was finishing the last few pickup days for my new feature. It's another practical FX monster movie, which is quite crazy. Like The Matrix meets Wicked City with some They Live thrown in and The Crow (seems like such an insane cocktail when I write that out but it fits well together surprisingly). Despite the numerous obstacles, I love filming in Tokyo and I can't believe I've now made more features here than in the US. I want to shoot a new movie every year... no idea if I can pull off such a difficult goal but dammit I have to try. I just think now is the time to get busy and make a ton of movies since maybe, just maybe, I could do something amazing... I'm trying anyway. Making practical FX monster movies for no money is stupid but I'm just dumb like that and I love the extreme challenge. The fact that people like the monster in Bakemono also encouraged me way too much so unfortunately for you the audience I've got to do a lot more. My apologies in advance.

Alien 3000 aka Unseen Evil 2 aka cheap monster movie.

If the title didn't give it away, the poster looks like an Alien knockoff and I love those. Honestly though, I admire anyone who tries to make a monster movie for no money because it is really difficult and I just have a soft spot for these films. They probably had a little sliver of a budget but not much I imagine. Actually I'd love to know the real budget and watch BTS on this (sorry I'm going to say that about every movie) because they probably had a lot more than I did but still. I just enjoy watching these. It's so tough to make a film and especially when you have no resources. I love IMDb's trivia for this movie: "Director Jeff Leroy said one day Lorenzo Lamas hid behind a rock when his ex-wife Playboy model Shauna Sand made a surprise appearance on location and demanded his salary." What was his salary I wonder? And this gem: "The director said on one occasion shortly after its release, he invited some friends over to watch the finished product. They fell asleep minutes into the film and so he snuck over to the DVD player and tossed Alien 3000 in the garbage." Holy shit I just realized this director made Werewolf in a Womens Prison, which I absolutely love (I own 2 DVDs of it... a US and a German one). That is awesome. Well, damn now I really want to buy the DVD. Yes, I'm insane but hey it has an exclusive creature interview. I love that shit. Bring on the suit actors. I wish it had a 10 hour making of. Alright, I'll stop ranting like a madman. Thank you Tubi. And thank you Jeff Leroy.