Hot Girl of Horror #30: Yvonne Strahovski

I first saw her on Dexter... if only the ending to that show wasn't so terrible. I did actually like her character though. She was also in Chuck and now 24. Besides her two-season stint with TV's most infamous serial killer, she also appeared in Gone, a 2006 Australian movie (not very surprising since she was born in the "land down under"), and I, Frankenstein. Not the best horror movies by any means, but Gone doesn't sound too bad. TV tends to be far better than film these days anyway with Breaking Bad, Dexter (except the finale), Game of Thrones, etc. Hopefully, she'll do more horror in the future or I wish they could fix that Dexter finale (update: New Blood was a much better ending I thought although they didn't bring back Hannah). Yes, she's gorgeous but I think she's really a fantastic actress and she has shown she has a lot of range too. Alright, enough of my lame rambling.

Hot Girl of Horror #29: Nora Arnezeder

Maniac (2012), which was actually quite good as far as slashers go and especially as far as remakes. I love the way they recreated the image of the original poster in the film. Despite not seeing the original until a few years ago, that poster was always stuck in my head from the days of roaming VHS rental stores as a kid. That's all of the horror she has done, but it's definitely not a bad one to have on your resume. It's not like Children of the Corn IV. Poor Naomi Watts. But heck, a credit is a credit, and actresses usually can't be too picky at the start of their careers. I think it's safe to say Nora has a bright future ahead of her, and maybe, just maybe, it'll include a couple more horror flicks. Probably not but you never know. At least, she picked a great horror film to be in so I can't blame her if she doesn't take a risk on another one. I think she'd definitely elevate any horror film she is in though. I would certainly give it a chance at least. No one reads this, do they? I can't blame ya. I wouldn't either.

Hot Girl of Horror #26: Diora Baird

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Night of the Demons remake, and 30 Days of Night: Dark Days. Oh, I forgot about Stan Helsing. Wait, no, I didn't forget. No one remembers that, and no one ever will. Ok, that's too mean. Sorry. I wonder if the 30 Days of Night sequel is any good. I liked the first one even though it could've been better, but it wasn't awful by any means. It's sad she hasn't gotten a chance to be in any original horror since we're so plagued with sequels, prequels, and remakes these days. Diora Baird was also on the cover of Playboy, and she did the topless lipstick trick in the Night of the Demons remake so she deserves an Academy Award in my book or at least a Gruesome Ghoulie. If that's not an award, it should be. Please stop reading this. I suck at writing. You realized that right? Of course you did. Eye muscles. We're all here to exercise our eye muscles so with that in mind...

Hot Girl of Horror #25: Alexandra Daddario

Bereavement, The Attic, and Texas Chainsaw 3D. Maybe you're like me and haven't seen any of these. Sorry I'm a little tired of remakes, reboots, re-imaginings, whatever the hell you want to call them and taking the word "massacre" out of the title didn't help matters. I never even heard of The Attic, and the poster on IMDb sure isn't doing it any favors. I saw some of Bereavement on Netflix but not all of it yet (but it was pretty good). And there's no way I'm ever watching a Percy Jackson movie. They might be the greatest films ever made, but I'm not interested even for her and that's saying something. Hopefully, she gets cast in some better horror movies before long. Update: she is amazing in True Detective Season One so I highly, highly recommend that if you haven't seen it yet. Her career really took off and it's easy to see why: she is a very talented actress plus extremely beautiful. It's funny how so many actresses start in horror (usually not the best horror either) but then they become famous like Naomi Watts (Children of the Corn IV), Jennifer Aniston (Leprechaun), etc.

Hot Girl of Horror #24: Anna Paquin

I've heard great things about True Blood, but I haven't watched any of it yet. I'm a huge fan of Trick 'r Treat, and I liked Scream 4 although I wish they would've taken more risks, but Anna Paquin's scene was a lot of fun. Of course, I thought she was excellent in X-Men, which is definitely not a horror movie. I did see Darkness (was I the only one?), but I don't remember anything about it except it was mediocre at best, and I swore I wouldn't watch it again (I might though since I'm curious why I really have no memory of it). It looks like that is all she has done in this genre. I definitely need to watch True Blood. I've just been a little sick of vampires lately, but hey, we got Let the Right One In so I shouldn't complain. Who am I kidding... I always complain. Yes, this is the point where I ramble about such and such like red shirts and red bras. Red panties. No correlation to the images below of course. None whatsoever. You believe me, right? I know... no one believes me. That's smart. I'm mumbling in the corner. Just don't drop the camera. Get it? Yep, I'm lame.

Hot Girl of Horror #21: Kate Beckinsale

I'm not really a fan of the Underworld movies (I can't believe there are four now), and I hated Van Helsing (worst Dracula ever and talk about some awful, awful CGI), but I still like Kate Beckinsale. She's a good actress, and of course, she's drop-dead gorgeous. From what everyone says, she's also the best thing about the completely unnecessary and bland Total Recall remake. Hopefully, she'll be in some better horror movies in the future. Maybe Vacancy was good, but I didn't see it. Van Helsing should've been good... Hugh Jackman, Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man. It takes some real talent to screw that up. Yeah, I'm still pissed about that movie. Frankenstein's Monster swinging on a cable? WTF? Even Beckinsale in a corset couldn't save that. Ok, I'll stop complaining. I just hope she can be in some better horror movies and please remake Van Helsing but do it right this time. That was such an awful film.

Hot Girl of Horror #20: Shannyn Sossamon

I never saw Devour, Catacombs or One Missed Call (the remake) so I can't say anything about the horror films she has been in, but if they suck (and the reviews don't seem very flattering), it's not her fault. She is excellent in The Rules of Attraction and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Both are also amazing films. I was curious about The Day, but I'm a little tired of post-apocalyptic movies without any monsters, and I'm worried that is the case there. But it's probably still good. I'll definitely check it out one of these days. I just need a break after The Road, The Divide, and The Book of Eli. We need some more good monster movies. I can't wait for Harbinger Down. If there's one thing the world needs more of, it's old-school practical FX. And monster movies. A lot more monster movies but no CGI. Please for Cthulhu's sake, no CGI. Somebody needs to try to top The Thing. Come on. Somebody. Please. It's impossible I know but dang it somebody try. Pretty please. She can act in it. Yeah I'm dreaming. It'll never happen or it'll be awful.

Hot Girl of Horror #14: Scarlett Johansson

Eight Legged Freaks. That's it. The only horror movie she did, and I haven't seen it. Yes, I'm ashamed. What's really scary is she was in Home Alone 3. Ugh. I'm glad I dodged that bullet. Actually, "bullet" is probably too nice. "Exercise in pain" would be more fitting. The Black Dahlia almost qualifies... it's pretty much a slasher. Anyway, yeah, enough with the excuses. She's hot. I still can't believe some people don't find her attractive. Come on. Let's not dress up like a penguin and shoot rockets out our face. She's hot. Search your feelings. You know it to be true. Update: Under the Skin. Need I say more? That film is incredible, and she is perfect in it. She really is such a talented actress. But dang Home Alone 3? Poor girl. She didn't deserve that. I guess that's why you can't give up as an actor. You've got to keep going and eventually you'll be some awesome movies. Under the Skin is seriously one of my favorites just for the atmosphere alone. It almost makes you imagine what a real alien being would behave like and how they'd observe us. Alright, am I being an idiot yet? Excellent. Ninjas. Cat ninjas.

Hot Girl of Horror #11: Monica Bellucci

Brotherhood of the Wolf is my favorite film of hers, and if you've seen it, you'll definitely know why, but it's also just a flat-out phenomenal movie that everyone should see. The other big horror movie she did was the '90s classic Bram Stoker's Dracula in which she played the count's bride, but her part in that was pretty small. Still, you'll probably remember (she was topless and it was a great scene anyway). Those are the only two real horror movies she has done (that I can find at least). I don't count The Brothers Grimm or Irreversible even though the latter is pretty damn horrifying at times. I was lucky enough to catch Le Pacte des Loups in the theater, and I'm glad I did. If you missed it, I highly recommend it, and Monica Bellucci is a big reason why. She is absolutely gorgeous, and here's the proof.