Hot Girl of Horror #14: Scarlett Johansson

Eight Legged Freaks. That's it. The only horror movie she did, and I haven't seen it. Yes, I'm ashamed. What's really scary is she was in Home Alone 3. Ugh. I'm glad I dodged that bullet. Actually, "bullet" is probably too nice. "Exercise in pain" would be more fitting. The Black Dahlia almost qualifies... it's pretty much a slasher. Anyway, yeah, enough with the excuses. She's hot. I still can't believe some people don't find her attractive. Come on. Let's not dress up like a penguin and shoot rockets out our face. She's hot. Search your feelings. You know it to be true. Update: Under the Skin. Need I say more? That film is incredible, and she is perfect in it. She really is such a talented actress. But dang Home Alone 3? Poor girl. She didn't deserve that. I guess that's why you can't give up as an actor. You've got to keep going and eventually you'll be some awesome movies. Under the Skin is seriously one of my favorites just for the atmosphere alone. It almost makes you imagine what a real alien being would behave like and how they'd observe us. Alright, am I being an idiot yet? Excellent. Ninjas. Cat ninjas.

Hot Girl of Horror #2: Amber Heard

Unfortunately, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane still hasn't been released in the US, but it's definitely one you should check out. Of course, you'll probably still recognize Amber Heard from Drive Angry, Zombieland, and John Carpenter's The Ward. She is pretty hard to miss, and she obviously seems to like the horror genre so that's good news for us. Doesn't hurt that she's an incredible actress too. Update: poor Johnny Depp. Well, I guess technically rich Johnny Depp.

Hot Girl of Horror #1: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Ok, let's forget about the fact she was in The Thing prequel, one of the worst CG remake-in-disguise abominations to ever limp across the silver screen. It's not her fault it was an inept lifeless wretched we-can't-even-think-of-a-new-title are-you-really-just-copying-scene-after-scene-from-Carpenter why-did-I-watch-this-piece-of-shit movie. Sadly, she also showed up in The Ring Two, a film I absolutely refuse to watch (Gore Verbinski's remake was perfect, and yes, I love the Japanese films too... too bad Hollywood screwed over Hideo Nakata). So that leaves Final Destination 3? The Black Christmas remake? Dammit, she needs to be in some better horror movies. Come on guys. Somebody put her in some good horror movies please and while you're at it, erase The Thing prequel from history. At least, she got to be in Death Proof (thank you Tarantino) and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Good thing they never made a PG-13 Die Hard sequel...