Hot Girl of Horror #26: Diora Baird

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Night of the Demons remake, and 30 Days of Night: Dark Days. Oh, I forgot about Stan Helsing. Wait, no, I didn't forget. No one remembers that, and no one ever will. Ok, that's too mean. Sorry. I wonder if the 30 Days of Night sequel is any good. I liked the first one even though it could've been better, but it wasn't awful by any means. It's sad she hasn't gotten a chance to be in any original horror since we're so plagued with sequels, prequels, and remakes these days. Diora Baird was also on the cover of Playboy, and she did the topless lipstick trick in the Night of the Demons remake so she deserves an Academy Award in my book or at least a Gruesome Ghoulie. If that's not an award, it should be. Please stop reading this. I suck at writing. You realized that right? Of course you did. Eye muscles. We're all here to exercise our eye muscles so with that in mind...

Hot Girl of Horror #25: Alexandra Daddario

Bereavement, The Attic, and Texas Chainsaw 3D. Maybe you're like me and haven't seen any of these. Sorry I'm a little tired of remakes, reboots, re-imaginings, whatever the hell you want to call them and taking the word "massacre" out of the title didn't help matters. I never even heard of The Attic, and the poster on IMDb sure isn't doing it any favors. I saw some of Bereavement on Netflix but not all of it yet (but it was pretty good). And there's no way I'm ever watching a Percy Jackson movie. They might be the greatest films ever made, but I'm not interested even for her and that's saying something. Hopefully, she gets cast in some better horror movies before long. Update: she is amazing in True Detective Season One so I highly, highly recommend that if you haven't seen it yet. Her career really took off and it's easy to see why: she is a very talented actress plus extremely beautiful. It's funny how so many actresses start in horror (usually not the best horror either) but then they become famous like Naomi Watts (Children of the Corn IV), Jennifer Aniston (Leprechaun), etc.

Hot Girl of Horror #24: Anna Paquin

I've heard great things about True Blood, but I haven't watched any of it yet. I'm a huge fan of Trick 'r Treat, and I liked Scream 4 although I wish they would've taken more risks, but Anna Paquin's scene was a lot of fun. Of course, I thought she was excellent in X-Men, which is definitely not a horror movie. I did see Darkness (was I the only one?), but I don't remember anything about it except it was mediocre at best, and I swore I wouldn't watch it again (I might though since I'm curious why I really have no memory of it). It looks like that is all she has done in this genre. I definitely need to watch True Blood. I've just been a little sick of vampires lately, but hey, we got Let the Right One In so I shouldn't complain. Who am I kidding... I always complain. Yes, this is the point where I ramble about such and such like red shirts and red bras. Red panties. No correlation to the images below of course. None whatsoever. You believe me, right? I know... no one believes me. That's smart. I'm mumbling in the corner. Just don't drop the camera. Get it? Yep, I'm lame.

Hot Girl of Horror #23: Odette Yustman

I've only seen one film of hers: Cloverfield, and I liked it a lot even though I'm sick of the found footage gimmick, but I thought that movie used it well without being annoying. Actually, I guess she had a tiny role in Transformers as a "socialite." Poor girl. I was curious about The Unborn, but I ended up skipping it despite the attractive poster (they really used her to sell it, didn't they?). Looks like the only other semi-horror flick of hers would be And Soon the Darkness. The reviews for it are pretty awful, but damn, can I live on that island? Amber Heard and her in bikinis? Good casting. Ok, I just found out something disturbing. She was in Kindergarten Cop. I have no idea which kid she played in that, and I don't want to know. Thanks IMDb. Update: she is awesome in the show Banshee, and if you haven't seen that show, you should correct that ASAP. Nudity aplenty... err, I mean an amazing story and characters but actually yes, it has both. She is a real badass in it too.

Hot Girl of Horror #22: Minka Kelly

The Pumpkin Karver... yep, that is a movie with a 3.2 rating on IMDb. Sounds like one of the best things about it is Minka Kelly. She was also in a horror flick called Devil's Highway (yet another 3.x rating). Apparently, her best foray into horror is 2011's The Roommate. I never saw any of these. Never even heard of them, and if you read the reviews out there, they all sound pretty bad. That seems to be the way it is for most actresses. Start out in some crappy horror movies, and then hopefully get some better jobs later on. Even Naomi Watts was in Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (that's actually the subtitle so if you didn't know better, there'd be your first clue you're in for a wretched waste of celluloid... sadly, for poor Minka, it has a higher rating than both The Pumpkin Karver and Devil's Highway, but you got to start somewhere). And hey, you never know, those movies could be good. Maybe. Yeah. Probably not.

Hot Girl of Horror #21: Kate Beckinsale

I'm not really a fan of the Underworld movies (I can't believe there are four now), and I hated Van Helsing (worst Dracula ever and talk about some awful, awful CGI), but I still like Kate Beckinsale. She's a good actress, and of course, she's drop-dead gorgeous. From what everyone says, she's also the best thing about the completely unnecessary and bland Total Recall remake. Hopefully, she'll be in some better horror movies in the future. Maybe Vacancy was good, but I didn't see it. Van Helsing should've been good... Hugh Jackman, Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man. It takes some real talent to screw that up. Yeah, I'm still pissed about that movie. Frankenstein's Monster swinging on a cable? WTF? Even Beckinsale in a corset couldn't save that. Ok, I'll stop complaining. I just hope she can be in some better horror movies and please remake Van Helsing but do it right this time. That was such an awful film.

Hot Girl of Horror #20: Shannyn Sossamon

I never saw Devour, Catacombs or One Missed Call (the remake) so I can't say anything about the horror films she has been in, but if they suck (and the reviews don't seem very flattering), it's not her fault. She is excellent in The Rules of Attraction and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Both are also amazing films. I was curious about The Day, but I'm a little tired of post-apocalyptic movies without any monsters, and I'm worried that is the case there. But it's probably still good. I'll definitely check it out one of these days. I just need a break after The Road, The Divide, and The Book of Eli. We need some more good monster movies. I can't wait for Harbinger Down. If there's one thing the world needs more of, it's old-school practical FX. And monster movies. A lot more monster movies but no CGI. Please for Cthulhu's sake, no CGI. Somebody needs to try to top The Thing. Come on. Somebody. Please. It's impossible I know but dang it somebody try. Pretty please. She can act in it. Yeah I'm dreaming. It'll never happen or it'll be awful.

Hot Girl of Horror #19: Danielle Harris

My favorite horror movie of hers would have to be Stake Land even though I love her in the Hatchet sequels. She really made the Mary Beth role her own. Rob Zombie really showed everyone how sexy she could be with his Halloween remake, which is the only good thing I can say about that film. Actually, I like the fact that Michael's mask was rotting, and Malcolm McDowell did well as Loomis, but I much prefer Carpenter's original (you can't beat Donald Pleasence). Anyway, Danielle Harris seems really cool and down to earth. She is always at horror conventions and doesn't seem to mind interacting with fans. I love the photo of her with Michael, Jason, and Freddy. I think she's genuinely a talented actress too and you can tell she is giving it her all in the Hatchet sequels. She always comes off as nice too in interviews and everything. What more could you ask for? I hope she keeps doing horror films. She also did well in the movie directed by Michael Biehn called The Victim.

Hot Girl of Horror #18: Katharine Isabelle

Besides the Ginger Snaps trilogy (pretty damn good), you've got Freddy vs. Jason, which I loved despite its flaws, and then a whole ton of other horror movies: the 2002 Carrie TV movie with Angela Bettis, Snoop Dogg's Bones, Ogre, Hard Ride to Hell (cool title but the rating on IMDb is pretty low), 30 Days of Night: Dark Days, etc. So she isn't afraid of the genre, which is definitely good news for us. Most recently, you can see her in American Mary. I really want to check that out, but I haven't had a chance yet. Of course, if you haven't seen the Ginger Snaps films, you should. They're a different take on your typical male-werewolf movie, and they're quite good. She makes them all the better too. She also made Freddy vs. Jason a lot better as well so I hope she is in more horror.