Hot Girl of Horror #21: Kate Beckinsale

I'm not really a fan of the Underworld movies (I can't believe there are four now), and I hated Van Helsing (worst Dracula ever and talk about some awful, awful CGI), but I still like Kate Beckinsale. She's a good actress, and of course, she's drop-dead gorgeous. From what everyone says, she's also the best thing about the completely unnecessary and bland Total Recall remake. Hopefully, she'll be in some better horror movies in the future. Maybe Vacancy was good, but I didn't see it. Van Helsing should've been good... Hugh Jackman, Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man. It takes some real talent to screw that up. Yeah, I'm still pissed about that movie. Frankenstein's Monster swinging on a cable? WTF? Even Beckinsale in a corset couldn't save that. Ok, I'll stop complaining. I just hope she can be in some better horror movies and please remake Van Helsing but do it right this time. That was such an awful film.

Hot Girl of Horror #8: Monica Keena

Freddy vs. Jason is what I remember her from. She was a little unintentionally funny in it sometimes, but she did a good job. The Night of the Demons remake was pretty good too, and she didn't hurt it either. She hasn't really done a ton of horror, but the projects she has been in are some of the better stuff. Yes, I never saw Left in Darkness and the cover makes me want to avoid it, but she also had a tiny part in The Devil's Advocate. Anyway, I keep getting distracted by something. Well, I guess there's more than one. Two big... hey! Get your head out of the gutter, will you? I'm talking about her eyes ok? Am I talking to you or me? Seriously, we all know why slow motion was invented, right? Monica Keena, Freddy vs. Jason, and slow motion... that's an unbeatable combination. I wonder if she has done any more horror since then. I'm lazy. Ice cream tastes good. I know this place here that has grape ice cream. Can you believe that? How do they get grapes in ice cream form? Boggles the mind right? Ninjas do it? I knew it. Freakin ninjas. Amazing. I wonder what else they do. Everything? Ninjas do everything? Wow the world is a magical place. Worth fighting for. What's in the box!?! Grape ninjas. Brilliant. I should be a writer... oh wait.