Hot Girl of Horror #25: Alexandra Daddario

Bereavement, The Attic, and Texas Chainsaw 3D. Maybe you're like me and haven't seen any of these. Sorry I'm a little tired of remakes, reboots, re-imaginings, whatever the hell you want to call them and taking the word "massacre" out of the title didn't help matters. I never even heard of The Attic, and the poster on IMDb sure isn't doing it any favors. I saw some of Bereavement on Netflix but not all of it yet (but it was pretty good). And there's no way I'm ever watching a Percy Jackson movie. They might be the greatest films ever made, but I'm not interested even for her and that's saying something. Hopefully, she gets cast in some better horror movies before long. Update: she is amazing in True Detective Season One so I highly, highly recommend that if you haven't seen it yet. Her career really took off and it's easy to see why: she is a very talented actress plus extremely beautiful. It's funny how so many actresses start in horror (usually not the best horror either) but then they become famous like Naomi Watts (Children of the Corn IV), Jennifer Aniston (Leprechaun), etc.

Evil Dead (2013) was ok but disappointing.

I remember before it came out, the director made a big deal about how there was no CGI in the film. Then he backtracked a little and said they used it to enhance a few things. So when the first scene had some obvious computer-generated fire (or computer "enhanced" to the point where it looks fake), I was pissed. There are some great practical FX in the movie, but they shouldn't have said there was no CGI especially when it's in the fuckin opening. I don't understand the appeal of remakes unless they really do something completely different. John Carpenter's The Thing shares very little in common with The Thing from Another World. The characters are totally unique, the themes, the approach to the monster, the visual style, the amazing score, the opening with the dog, etc. Same with David Cronenberg's The Fly and the 1958 film with Vincent Price. The beginning of Evil Dead is essentially what you saw before with one of the most memorable characters of all time missing of course. Does Mia stand up at all to Ash? Not even close. You can see they're trying to be unique, but they don't do nearly enough. That short little scene at the start doesn't really add anything aside from CG fire. It was obvious before the cabin had a history, and you can't trust someone who is possessed. They also undermine their efforts sometimes by too clearly foreshadowing with the images in the Necronomicon. Spoiler: I was disappointed when the book hinted Olivia would cut off her entire face, you see her working on that in the bathroom from behind (a cool shot), but then all she did was cut into her cheek. End spoiler. There are a lot of little great touches though. The staples in the flesh of the Book of the Dead, when Mia first whispers David's name after the tree rape scene, the way Mia glides at David in the basement (reminds me of the scary old woman in the original House on Haunted Hill), etc.

Nice fake out from the trailer. This scene isn't in the movie.

The ending disappointed me so much. Spoilers from here on. I loved the blood rain and the thing coming out of the ground (an image teased by the posters for Sam Raimi's classic), but then that monster is basically just another demon girl like we've already seen. Heck, they could've had it start as a girl then mutate into some truly hellish creature. And what the hell is up with Mia tearing off her own hand? That was so pointless and stupid. She screams when she rips it off, but then she acts like it doesn't even hurt. The pain would be unbearable, and she would bleed to death unless she took care of the wound quickly, but all she does is casually tuck her still-bleeding-and-should-be-horribly-painful-with-the-bone-sticking-out stump under her other arm. What the fuck? She isn't even going to wrap the wound? When the blonde girl earlier cut off her own arm, at least they covered it in duck tape and tried to deal with it realistically. At the end, they don't even give a fuck. Mia just stands there for the longest time, acting like it's a little scratch. You lost your fuckin hand because it got crushed under a jeep and you tore the rest off! I can't believe they had her act like it was nothing. Yes, I love Bruce's cameo although people made such a big deal about it tying everything together, I was expecting more, but it's always great to see him especially reprising Ash and saying his famous line.

By the way, what's up with the dog? I didn't even realize there was one until David found it dead. They really didn't set that up well at all.

Anyway, the movie wasn't awful. At least, they didn't make it PG-13 with CG blood or something atrocious like that, but it still could've been a lot better. And please quit trying to do CG fire.

Hot Girl of Horror #24: Anna Paquin

I've heard great things about True Blood, but I haven't watched any of it yet. I'm a huge fan of Trick 'r Treat, and I liked Scream 4 although I wish they would've taken more risks, but Anna Paquin's scene was a lot of fun. Of course, I thought she was excellent in X-Men, which is definitely not a horror movie. I did see Darkness (was I the only one?), but I don't remember anything about it except it was mediocre at best, and I swore I wouldn't watch it again (I might though since I'm curious why I really have no memory of it). It looks like that is all she has done in this genre. I definitely need to watch True Blood. I've just been a little sick of vampires lately, but hey, we got Let the Right One In so I shouldn't complain. Who am I kidding... I always complain. Yes, this is the point where I ramble about such and such like red shirts and red bras. Red panties. No correlation to the images below of course. None whatsoever. You believe me, right? I know... no one believes me. That's smart. I'm mumbling in the corner. Just don't drop the camera. Get it? Yep, I'm lame.