Beyond Skyline (2017) was a blast.

I enjoyed this way too much. I'm a huge fan of Frank Grillo ever since The Purge: Anarchy, and he gets a ton to do here plus you get Iko Uwais and Yayan Ruhian from The Raid battling these extraterrestrials with a nice dash of bloody brutality for good measure. What's not to love here? I was shocked this was the same writer as the first film because I really liked the characters a lot this time around. Truth to be told, I didn't hate Skyline. The FX were incredible. Yes, CGI but done at a professional level on a low budget (very low for Hollywood, impossible for indies) so even a practical FX junkie like myself has to admire that. It wasn't boring, heck I rather enjoyed it like if Roger Corman finally got some money (the alien designs looked great), but this sequel blows it out of the water. I was shocked at everything they did in this film and the amount of FX is staggering. Frank Grillo definitely owns this movie and you get some surprising deaths. I love how ruthless the aliens are, ripping out everyone's brains in gory gruesome fashion. That sounds ridiculous writing it but they completely won me over (yeah I'm probably not that hard to win over). Ok, the ending goes off the rails a bit maybe, well definitely, but still I had fun. Not sure I'd be down for another one. This felt like an overdose by the final scene but you have to give the writer/director a lot of credit. He came out swinging and did a hell of a job. Yes, I like Skyline 2. I admit it. It isn't Aliens by any stretch but I had a good time. Everybody has some guilty pleasures. Mine just happen to be a bloody dinosaur movie that rips off Aliens and the Punisher killing some cool-looking E.T.'s.

Surprisingly, I love Alien: Covenant.

I was very mixed on Prometheus. The guy who maps the ship gets lost in it? The supposedly super smart scientists decide to throw caution to the wind and remove their helmets? Gee, why don't I pet the Alien cobra? He is her father... uhm so? This isn't Empire Strikes Back. In fact, I didn't even want to see Covenant. I figured I'd never see another good Alien movie again. Well, I'm happy to admit I was wrong, but I have to say I'm shocked at all the negativity surrounding this film. Whether I wanted to or not, I read everything people said about it beforehand and yet despite all that, I still liked it. A lot. To me, it's a billion times better than Prometheus, which again is not a high compliment since I hated the stupid characters in that one (and why didn't they leave in the deleted scene of the engineer speaking at the end?) but damn Ridley Scott got me. I did end up liking the characters in this, Fassbender was phenomenal, and the script made sense. Someone said there was a 5-minute flute scene, and like any rational person, I thought, "Damn, that sounds bad." Yet said scene has two Fassbenders in it, doesn't feel long at all, and is actually quite interesting since there's more going on than just learning the flute.

Gonna have to wade into spoiler territory here so stop reading now if you haven't seen it, but I don't understand why some are complaining Ridley screwed up the mythology with this one. Uhm, he did that already with Prometheus by saying the Space Jockey was just a stupid suit. The engineers still created the black goo. David simply refines it. Why is that bad? Sure, the gestation period is very short but David has been tinkering with his specimen a ton and I don't think we can assume the eggs in the first Alien film's Derelict Ship came from this same strain. Plus, from a practical point of view, no one these days would put up with Alien's deliberate, labored pace and AvP already jacked up the gestation time. Anyway, I love David playing creator, his great interactions with Walter, and I ended up liking Daniels and Tennessee a lot too. The Neomorph was fantastic. Same with the classic Xenomorph. I guess they painted over the practical FX with CGI, which I hate, but it looked quite good. I don't know why they needed to have practical built then in the first place unless they wanted to help the CG artists by having a real model to build off but I hope they warned the poor practical FX guys they were going to do that. Regardless, I loved it. Sometimes, the characters might make questionable decisions but they're not supposed to be super scientists in this one and they all seem realistic given how the android is meant to be their protector, they're in high stress situations, etc. People seem to be nitpicking the hell out of it and making little things seem all encompassing when they're not. At all. My dad called it, "Boring." What the heck. I was never bored in the slightest. At the beginning, I was still skeptical (listen for the music though... seems quite a few missed that) but it won me over big time. My buddy and I are both huge Aliens fans and we loved it. Now I hope Scott gets to finish this series of films but the poor box office worries me.

Are practical FX making a comeback?

I certainly hope so. Don't get me wrong. I think CGI can be an excellent tool and accomplish amazing things when it's not overused or abused, which is quite rare, but I grew up on Aliens, John Carpenter's The Thing, Predator, The Terminator, etc. so for me, nothing comes close to practical FX. I watched Movie Magic all the time as a kid. I loved it to death, and the fact these people could make real, moving monsters was just unbelievably incredible to me. Try to think of a CG werewolf that compares at all to An American Werewolf in London. I can't think of any computer-generated monsters that can stand up to Rob Bottin's phenomenal work on The Thing. I know some types of movies like superhero films probably couldn't be done without CGI, but even in that category, part of the reason why The Dark Knight was so exceptional is Nolan kept the computer effects to a minimum. Look at how little the shark appears in Jaws or how Ridley Scott creatively kept the titular creature hidden so much in Alien. One of the problems with CGI is people don't think there are any limits to it yet time and money are always obstacles so if you don't have the room in your budget to correct a computer effect or enough time to make it as photo-realistic as possible (or you have 500 shots to do when you can only manage 200), you're going to end up with sub-par results. There's just something so much more engrossing and exciting about real stunts and real creatures that physically exist in our world. Actors can give better performances, and filmmakers are forced to deal with real-world limitations, which so often end up improving the final product.

The Harbinger Down Kickstarter was insanely fascinating to me since Alec Gillis actually explained why studios opt for CGI when practical is usually cheaper (and better), and the reasoning blew my mind. They only care about the tax incentives from farming computer effects out to labor in other countries. You can see how the business side of filmmaking has completely overrun Hollywood. Everything has to be a franchise now with a brand name, endless sequels, merchandising tie-ins, and of course, the latest crappy computer effects to wow kids who've never seen practical FX. It's really a shame, but projects like Harbinger Down give me hope. I thought the days of practical-FX creature features were behind us so I'm extremely pleased to see someone pick up the torch. Fire City is another one I'm greatly anticipating, and as long as we've got some filmmakers like Adam Green who insist on using practical (so glad he used real wolves in Frozen and decided not to rely on shitty CG blood in the Hatchet films), there's still a chance the pendulum could swing back in the opposite direction. Ok, that'll never happen, but I can dream, and I'm going to do what little I can to help. I know tons of people like me want to see more practical FX, and thankfully, as already noted, some talented people in the industry like Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff, Jr. are pushing for this as well. Plus, you'd think with the popularity of shows like Face Off, more studio executives would get the hint, but obviously, they're blinded by box office numbers. If more and more practical-FX movies come out and do well though, who knows. I just want to see real monsters again. I know they're only one piece in a much larger puzzle. You need a great story and fantastic characters too, but for horror films especially, the FX matter. If Aliens or John Carpenter's The Thing were redone with crappy CGI (wait... The Thing was... yeah, I'm trying to forget the awful prequel), they would definitely lose something. So much of their incredible magic would be gone, and we can't let that happen. At least, not without a fight. If we want to see more practical FX, we've got to support those films. Of course, they need to be quality movies too, but heck, I'd still rather see a flawed practical-FX monster flick than some stupid CG SyFy piece of shit.

So are practical FX making a comeback? Probably not, but dammit, I hope so. I really, really hope so.

P.S. Can someone tell them to stop using CG blood? It sucks.
P.S.S. Why isn't Movie Magic out on DVD?

10 Things in My Monster Squad Tree House!

Thanks to Freddy in Space for this awesome idea! Read his list here!

1) Kenner Aliens Toys

Yes, these are awful, but I love 'em. Snake Alien and all. Actually, I'm trying to think of the most ridiculous one... probably the Mantis Alien or the Killer Crab Alien? That'd have to be one tiny Facehugger to get on a Praying Mantis. But hell, I don't care. They're awesome even Gatling Gun Bishop (did they even watch the movie?).

And I have to include their infamous 1979 18" Alien Doll, which I saved and saved for as a kid until I could finally buy one with its box (yes, I had to have the damn box too).

2) Monster in My Pocket

I didn't even remember what these guys were called until I saw them on Freddy in Space, but I fuckin loved these.

3) Ghostbusters Monsters

These were the most amazing things to me as a kid (ok, besides Cameron's masterpiece Aliens). The mummy toy always reminded me of Monster Squad because you could take off his arm and head with only his bandages holding them on like when the mummy came unwrapped in the film. If you're wondering (like I was) why the heck they called the cartoon (and these toys) "The Real" Ghostbusters, Wikipedia says it was added to the title after a dispute with Filmation and its Ghost Busters properties. Still seems stupid to me since they're obviously the same with the same characters, same song, etc. and I never even noticed "The Real" there before.

4) Robocop vs. Terminator (Genesis)

This game was so ridiculously gory. I loved it, and the Sega opening with the ED-209 growl... classic. Even the music kicked ass. I don't think I ever beat it though. I got to the end boss, but I couldn't kill it. Yep, I need to play this again.

5) Alien vs. Predator (SNES)

My brother and I only had a Sega Genesis as a kid so I had to play SNES over at a friend's house. Of course, if I had my own Monster Squad tree house, I'd have both. This was another game I loved to death. Basically, just Streets of Rage but you get to be Predator and beat the shit out of Aliens (and pick up skulls and food along with a ton of his signature weapons like his spear, throwing disc, etc.). The cut scenes were great for the time, and I thought the music and sound FX were excellent. Writing about this reminded me of F-Zero and Contra III, two other incredible SNES games.

6) Fangoria and Cinefantastique

Sorry I couldn't choose just one. When I was a kid, I'd flip through Fangoria and just look at the pictures. The same thing I did with my Dark Horse Aliens comics.

7) Cinefex and Famous Monsters of Filmland

Yep, I couldn't leave these out. If I had all these magazines, I'd never leave the tree house, but that'd be fine by me.

8) Halloween Masks

I remember always seeing a Predator mask up at Spencer's in the mall. I wanted that more than anything, but I never had enough to buy it (I was probably 10). It was pretty expensive, and now it's almost impossible to find because all you've got are crappy AvP masks, which I couldn't care less about. Of course, I'd love to have an Alien mask as well or the full freakin costume, but I'm dreaming.

9) Stephen King's IT

This movie traumatized me as a child. Every time I went into a book store, I would punch the cover of the book (it was the same as above with Pennywise front and center). In 8th grade, I read the full book and loved it. Then I started reading King's other books: The Shining, Insomnia, Salem's Lot, The Dark Tower, etc.

10) Godzilla Posters

Got to pay tribute to the king. I'd also have to put up one for Aliens, Predator, Robocop, John Carpenter's The Thing, The Exorcist, Versus, David Cronenberg's The Fly, etc. And yeah, I want a NES so I can play the two shitty Godzilla games. Actually, I think they were pretty awesome (yep, even the second one).

Japanese Movie Posters

Whatever happened to good poster art?

Ok, so the Predator 2 one isn't that good, and The Terminator looks like the US poster except with a bunch of other crap thrown on top. I still love 'em especially For a Few Dollars More.

I actually never saw A Better Tomorrow III since John Woo didn't direct it, and I heard it sucked. The first two were too perfect to be disappointed by another, but regardless, that poster is pretty badass.

I thought I'd love The Collection, but I don't.

The Collector was pretty damn good so of course, I was looking forward to the sequel (yes, I still love a good sequel... Terminator 2, The Dark Knight... even if they are rare). Then people started comparing it to Aliens, the greatest sequel of all time in my opinion. I should've known it couldn't live up to that, but the idea of it going in that direction was interesting, and I liked that Arkin was back. The opening was rather excellent despite seeing a lot of it in previews. Even the credit sequence had a great style that reminded me of Seven without blatantly ripping it off, but when the Aliens aspect kicked in, the problems began. I love Cameron's masterpiece, and I was really curious how this movie could be similar. Unfortunately, it's quite obvious, and it's even more obvious they didn't understand why Aliens works so fuckin well. Yes, it has heavily-armed badasses underestimating a foe that will utterly annihilate them, but the characters are what matter. You care about Hicks, Hudson, Vasquez, Drake, Apone, Bishop, Newt, even Gorman! You don't want to see them die. They all have unique personalities, traits, etc. Even their armor was decorated individually by each actor. The Collection forgets to make you care about its characters. The team that asks Arkin to lead them to the masked psychopath is just a bunch of people with guns. Beware there are spoilers from here on out. Even the tough guy who convinces Arkin to go with them has only the barest of development: he always protected the kidnapped girl, and he is loyal to his employer, but you really don't know shit about him. Why is he so loyal? Who the hell is this guy? When they get to the psycho's lair, why didn't he phone the cops just in case something went wrong? Or at least, tell the girl's father where they are so if he fails, all isn't lost. He could've brought more guys too.

I care about Arkin because of the first film, but even he bothered me a bit when he seems so chicken shit to "go back out there." I can't help but be reminded of Ripley. Yes, you knew she was plagued by nightmares, she was deeply afraid, but she was still brave as hell (remember her phone call to Burke? how she stood up to Gorman?), and I think they compromised Arkin a bit to try to underscore how intimidating their villain is. They do fix this later, but by then, it's a little late and seems too abrupt of a switch. I have to say I love the beginning and the end. There are a lot of cool ideas in the middle, but the fact you don't know any of the characters really hurts the film... I actually got a bit bored. More is done with the kidnapped girl, and that's pretty good although her loss of hearing never really pays off at all, and they forget to continue developing her beyond the first few scenes (she becomes the helpless crying victim who must be saved). But what about the ultimate badasses who get butchered? They may as well be faceless mannequins, because they have no defining qualities. There is a bald asshole, a black guy, a freaked-out white guy, and a girl. When they bite it, it means nothing. They are just there to add to the body count and show more gore. It's really a shame and a missed opportunity in that way.

I keep going back to the Aliens comparison. I think it's cool and inventive they tried to take a slasher sequel down that road. They even have a way of adding more "monsters" for one sequence in the bad guy's hideout, but still, I'm disappointed. Ripley hesitated to go with the marines just like Arkin does. Ripley agreed only to be an adviser. Arkin agrees only to take them to the place. Not go inside. Arkin lacks a good motivation for even doing that though. Ripley's life was really ruined by her first experience with the Alien. Besides the horrible nightmares, she couldn't get a good job, she needed psyche evaluations, etc. If she went back out there, the company agreed to reinstate her license. It was a second chance. For Arkin, maybe it was a way to guarantee his family's safety if the lunatic was caught or perhaps it was a way to redeem how he left the girl earlier, but they don't really play any of this up or give any real motivation aside from a general "catch the bad guy and kill him," which they forget to show how much that should matter to Arkin. Then when they're at the killer's place, Arkin has to be forced at gunpoint to go inside. I get that he is different from Ripley. He is a thief, which is part of what made the first film so unique, but I would think he would want revenge on the sick piece of shit that tortured him and threatened to go after his family. Instead Arkin comes off as a coward who is hard to root for. When Ripley goes against Gorman to save the marines, she is a courageous hero. There is a huge difference between these scenes.

They really forgot to include actual characters in The Collection, and that is its biggest flaw. The team that goes in to rescue the girl really needed to be developed more so you care when they die, so there is more tension, etc. Otherwise, it's just watching random faces get hacked up, and after you've seen so many horror movies, that does nothing for you. Still, I wouldn't say it's a complete waste. I love the opening and the ending. The ending is a little strange in that they save so much for those final few moments (and I'm frustrated they still don't reveal someone's identity although maybe that was the best choice to not disappoint the audience even more), but regardless, the last scene was the best part.

Best Horror Movie Weapons

1. The Powerloader

"Get away from her you bitch!" How else are you going to fight a Queen Alien? Cameron had obviously been toying around with this idea for a while, using the concept in an early 1978 short film called, "Xenogenesis." Practice makes perfect.



2. Pulse Rifle/Flamethrower Combo

So I might be a little biased. Aliens is only my favorite movie of all time, and there's a reason it shows up here twice, but come on. The M41A Pulse Rifle, just by itself, deserves a top spot, and it doesn't get any better than pairing it up with a flamethrower. The Smart Gun was pretty awesome as well.

3. Chainsaw Hand with a Backup Boomstick

Aww... Ash. Who doesn't love Bruce Campbell? The man can do no wrong even when he's introducing a trailer for the Evil Dead remake. But how can you have Evil Dead without Ash?



4. The Shoulder Cannon

There's an endless supply of badass weapons between Predator and Predator 2 with the throwing disc coming in a close second. Heck, it'd probably be more of a tie. Yes, I love Predator 2, but still, I'll give it to the first one. Why? Just look at the hole in Blain's chest.



5. Freddy's Glove

Should be higher on the list I know. After all, it is probably the most iconic horror movie weapon and for good reason. I love the updated look in New Nightmare too. The originality and inventiveness of its design definitely outshine Jason's machete and Michael's butcher knife, which both look run of the mill in comparison.



6. Steel Balls of Gory Goodness

There's a reason why Phantasm spawned three sequels, and these flying death balls are a big part of that.

7. The BFG

Such a shame it was wasted in that shit storm of a film. That is one remake I'd be happy about except they'll probably never get it right.



8. Quad Shotgun

Why have two barrels when you can have four? Thank Phantasm 2 and Phantasm IV: Oblivion for this bad boy. Honorable mention goes to the triple barreled shotgun from Undead.



9. The Puzzle Box

Besides being a doorway for Pinhead and his Cenobite buddies, it has a nasty habit of unleashing a few chains to pierce some flesh or in the case of Hellraiser III's opening, make some dude's head explode. Good times for all.



10. Steamroller

Sadly, the uncut version of this Maximum Overdrive scene has yet to be released, but the one and only Joe Bob Briggs talked about it on MonsterVision, which is why I'm including it here. You're supposed to see the kid's head actually get crushed with a ton of blood exploding outward, but it got chopped to nothing.


And for anyone who's curious...